S03E12 - Inside the Tavern: Uncovering the Secrets of Legendary Adventures
This podcast episode encapsulates the fervent camaraderie and spirited discourse that characterizes our gathering at the tavern. Our central theme revolves around the exhilarating yet chaotic nature of tabletop role-playing games, where we reflect upon our myriad adventures, the trials of character development, and the inevitable calamities that ensue during gameplay. The dialogue evokes a sense of nostalgia as we reminisce about unforgettable moments—both triumphant and disastrous—that have shaped our shared experiences. We delve into the nuances of character alignment, the peculiarities of game mechanics, and the humorous mishaps that often arise, all while maintaining a serious tone regarding the underlying camaraderie fostered through these interactions. Join us as we navigate the intricate tapestry of our gaming exploits, underscored by a genuine appreciation for the bonds forged in the fires of fantasy.
Takeaways:
- In the realm of gaming, chaos often reigns supreme, as laughter and stakes intertwine in a delightful dance.
- The bonds forged through shared experiences in tabletop gaming transcend mere entertainment, becoming a cherished tapestry of friendship.
- As we bid farewell to beloved characters, the bittersweet nature of storytelling leaves a profound impact on our hearts.
- Creativity knows no bounds in role-playing games, where the imagination is the only limit to the adventures we embark upon.
- Navigating the complexities of character dynamics can lead to unexpected alliances and humorous mishaps during gameplay.
- The final episode serves as a testament to the enduring spirit of camaraderie and creativity that characterizes our gaming sessions.
Transcript
One shot, one fight no heart, no lie, no guns, no fight.
Speaker A:Just chaos and hate.
Speaker A:Roll for inside one we get a one.
Speaker A:Laughs are high the stars stakes are dumb welcome to chaos, we just begun.
Speaker B:This is Chad.
Speaker A:One and done.
Speaker A:Chat one and done.
Speaker A:Legends fall and rise for fun One bad robot we don't run, we fight through fire and the setting sun.
Speaker A:Chat one and done one.
Speaker B:Chat one, roll and done.
Speaker B:I'm Rudy.
Speaker B:This is Mac and Coffee from Coffee and D and D and Coffee table Talk and.
Speaker B:And this is Chat one and done.
Speaker B:What's up, guys?
Speaker B:How you doing?
Speaker C:Hello.
Speaker D:Good.
Speaker C:Pretty good.
Speaker B:That was pretty cool.
Speaker B:Coffee.
Speaker B:But you got to remember this is not a visual medium.
Speaker C:I know.
Speaker E:That was just no one can see.
Speaker B:Oh, we feel so special.
Speaker E:I only do the.
Speaker E:I only do the visual jokes for you.
Speaker E:I know.
Speaker E:This is only an audio medium.
Speaker B:God damn it.
Speaker B:That's great.
Speaker B:I feel so special and loved.
Speaker C:I turned my camera on, took my shirt off to show my eight pack abs and you're telling me no one's.
Speaker F:Going to see it?
Speaker F:I mean, we did and we appreciate it.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker F:It looks very comic book esque.
Speaker C:Thank you.
Speaker F:Why?
Speaker C:Because he's sometimes.
Speaker C:Sometimes the paint gets smudged a little bit.
Speaker C:That's.
Speaker C:He's like.
Speaker B:I've really been working on my lighting and shading.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker B:What is it?
Speaker B:My contouring.
Speaker C:My contour.
Speaker C:Oh, God.
Speaker B:What the is up, guys?
Speaker B:How you guys doing?
Speaker E:Doing grand.
Speaker E:Doing great.
Speaker B:Hell yeah, dude.
Speaker B:Just for any new listeners, you guys want to let them know who you are and what you guys do.
Speaker E:Well, I'm Coffee Horse or Mr. Coffee Horse online.
Speaker E:I'm the host of Coffee and D and D Soon from go from DM to Player.
Speaker E:And Mac over here is my partner in crime, soon to be DM from Player.
Speaker C:Oh, yeah.
Speaker C:I'm so excited.
Speaker D:Reverse.
Speaker B:Yeah, reverse.
Speaker B:Reverse.
Speaker F:He put his thing down, flip it and reversed it.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:How are you guys feeling that.
Speaker B:But I think by the time this episode comes out, we will be done with the.
Speaker B:The first season or the first campaign.
Speaker B:How are you guys feeling on that?
Speaker E:I think it's going to be a big relief.
Speaker E:Off my chest.
Speaker E:Finally.
Speaker E:Finally I get to get to breathe.
Speaker E:I've had this with me for quite a while.
Speaker E:I've had this all planned out.
Speaker E:You know, you guys are really.
Speaker E:I mean, cj, Rudy, you guys really give me a headache sometimes, guys.
Speaker C:Jesus.
Speaker B:That's our job, dude.
Speaker B:If we're not stressing you out, we're not doing our job.
Speaker E:Sometimes I'm like, what the are these two Talking about.
Speaker E:And I know.
Speaker E:I know Max on the same page.
Speaker E:He's just going along with it.
Speaker C:Oh, yeah.
Speaker B:Like I said, if we're not stressing, you're out, we're not doing our jobs.
Speaker F:It gives you more plot hooks.
Speaker F:All right.
Speaker F:It gives Max some ideas.
Speaker C:Yeah, I got.
Speaker C:I got stuff to bounce off of.
Speaker C:It's exactly how it works.
Speaker F:I mean, he is third brother, after all.
Speaker C:I'm third brother.
Speaker B:Hell, yeah.
Speaker B:Dude.
Speaker B:Third brother.
Speaker B:Pigeon's fourth brother.
Speaker B:But reluctantly, reluctantly.
Speaker E:He does really like the bird.
Speaker F:I have been nice to him the entire time, actually.
Speaker C:You guys throw him into all of this.
Speaker B:All fairness, we're bullies to pretty much everybody, though.
Speaker F:He's the tuna of the sky, right?
Speaker F:Of course we're gonna pick on him.
Speaker B:Everybody gets it.
Speaker C:Oh, my God.
Speaker F:The brothers are equal opportunity bullies.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker F:Yep.
Speaker B:Thorne got a bit of it, but he was pretty chill about it.
Speaker B:I feel bad for Bird.
Speaker B:We ripped out his wings.
Speaker B:We ripped out some of his feathers.
Speaker C:It's like one of the first things we did was tear out a couple feathers.
Speaker B:But it was, in all fairness, it was to bring him closer into the fold.
Speaker C:Exactly.
Speaker B:We didn't do it maliciously.
Speaker E:You guys remember, you guys tattooed him.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:It wasn't a new thing, though.
Speaker B:He was covered in tattoos, right?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I feel like he was fine with that.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker F:It was just an addition.
Speaker B:Oh, jeez.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Is like coming closer to the end is more of, like, a bittersweet moment for you, because like you said, you've been like.
Speaker B:You've been running this since the beginning.
Speaker B:Like, the three of us, we jumped in, like, later.
Speaker G:Yeah.
Speaker E:I've been running this since.
Speaker E:I mean, truly.
Speaker E:Truly.
Speaker E:It's.
Speaker E:It is kind of bittersweet because it's like the original cast that I had with this is only.
Speaker E:It's only Quill.
Speaker E:Truly out of the main characters that are left.
Speaker E:But it's just.
Speaker E:It's just.
Speaker E:It's just D and Toast.
Speaker E:Those are the only two.
Speaker E:And I, we had two others.
Speaker E:But when they went away, I found the three of you, found Mac, found you.
Speaker E:You two, cuz Nat one and done took a plunge.
Speaker E:But, you know, I dragged you guys out of the.
Speaker E:Out of the toilet and I saved you.
Speaker E:It's like one of those drowning rats.
Speaker E:We got to save it.
Speaker F:I mean, now, if you could only get us out of this hole of a state, you know, that'd be a true savior right there.
Speaker C:You.
Speaker C:You can come out here anytime you want to.
Speaker C:How about this?
Speaker B:How about this?
Speaker E:It'll stay A hole.
Speaker B:I'll just.
Speaker E:Down there and I'll make it a little bit better.
Speaker E:I'll just make it a little bit better.
Speaker B:Brother, do not bring yourself into this fucking nonsense.
Speaker B:You don't want this.
Speaker F:Wait, wait, wait.
Speaker F:I've been talking about going to Virginia.
Speaker F:That's where I found a fuck ton of houses that are like twice the size of mine, but half the cost.
Speaker B:Yeah, dude, he showed me one.
Speaker B:I was like, look how cool this is.
Speaker B:We can turn the, like, the basement to like a D and D thing.
Speaker B:I was like, that's a goddamn murder basement if I've ever seen one.
Speaker C:There are definitely a couple of those out here.
Speaker E:Just all move into his house.
Speaker E:We just won't tell him.
Speaker B:How many pentagrams you got drawn.
Speaker C:It will not fit all of us.
Speaker B:You know, we'll be in the walls.
Speaker C:We'll be in your walls.
Speaker B:We can get some of those cool Murphy beds that kind of pop out from your wall.
Speaker F:It just looks like you have a bunch of bookshelves, but they're really big.
Speaker E:We'll grab, like, strings and we'll, like, have beds that we can pull up to the ceiling, then pulley back down.
Speaker C:There you go.
Speaker D:So much room for activities.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:It was a horrible idea.
Speaker B:Why would you let us do this?
Speaker B:We don't know how to build things.
Speaker B:I don't know, man.
Speaker B:Because we've also been planning to fucking go to Scotland.
Speaker B:That was pretty cool.
Speaker C:Too early.
Speaker B:Things are more affordable down there as well.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah, I'm.
Speaker F:I'm still fucking looking into that.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:We just gotta practice.
Speaker B:Apparently, like, it's.
Speaker B:They don't have guns, but they have, like, knives and stabbing.
Speaker B:So we really gotta practice our knife fights.
Speaker B:I've been staying up late and watching tape like it's football practice.
Speaker B:I've been watching the.
Speaker B:What did they beat it?
Speaker C:Yeah, There you go.
Speaker F:Oh, yeah.
Speaker F:I've just been watching hood knife fights on the dark web.
Speaker E:Damn.
Speaker E:Okay.
Speaker C:Trying to.
Speaker C:Trying to get some tips.
Speaker F:Hell yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah, dude.
Speaker C:I was like,.
Speaker F:Avoid all tips.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:Lesson one, don't get stabbed.
Speaker C:Stab the other.
Speaker B:What is that movie?
Speaker B:I've been watching the Outcast.
Speaker B:I was like, let me see how.
Speaker B:Let me see this technique.
Speaker B:Strangers.
Speaker C:Strangers.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Because Scotland operates like 70s.
Speaker E:If you're going to Scotland, you gotta watch.
Speaker E:You gotta watch Braveheart, man.
Speaker E:You just got to be one of them.
Speaker E:Grab yourselves a kill, paint yourself blue and get all ready with your sword.
Speaker B:Just go around yelling, freedom.
Speaker B:Everyone's gonna be like, go, Damon.
Speaker B:Some more American.
Speaker B:What did you tell we Were tourists.
Speaker B:Well, you painted yourself blue and kept yelling, freedom.
Speaker E:Painted blue.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker B:I'm from America.
Speaker F:Freedom.
Speaker F:I thought I was a Blue Man Person.
Speaker F:Group guy.
Speaker F:I'm blue.
Speaker F:Dabu dab D. Question.
Speaker B:If you're.
Speaker B:If you're interning at Blue Man Group, do you only get half the blue paint?
Speaker F:Gotta earn your stripes, either upper half or lower half.
Speaker E:A lighter blue?
Speaker E:Are you just a lighter blue?
Speaker C:Are you a lighter blue?
Speaker F:You're.
Speaker F:Yeah, you're not navy.
Speaker E:You're sky.
Speaker F:Actually, you go from baby to sky to navy.
Speaker C:There you go.
Speaker B:Yeah, they paint you green.
Speaker B:You're blue adjacent.
Speaker E:No, they start you off with teals.
Speaker B:Oh, man, that's terrible.
Speaker B:How about you, Mac?
Speaker B:How are you feeling about having to take the reigns pretty soon?
Speaker C:I'm excited for it.
Speaker C:I'm, like, so excited for the next campaign.
Speaker C:And, like, the, like, the world that I've been building for you guys all to jump into, it's very, like, mysterious.
Speaker C:And no one really knows what's going on over there.
Speaker C:So it's all new stuff for you guys to, like, kind of find and figure out.
Speaker C:But, yeah, I'm.
Speaker C:I'm more sad to, like, see Thorn go.
Speaker C:I've gotten very attached.
Speaker D:I mean, the cool part about you being the DM is you can control the fact that maybe Thorn goes with and is your playable.
Speaker C:I got some.
Speaker C:Got some ideas going on that way, too.
Speaker F:He gets sucked off in time.
Speaker F:I mean, sucked into time.
Speaker B:Not so much as a goodbye.
Speaker F:It's not a goodbye.
Speaker C:More of a hello.
Speaker B:Hello, Clarice.
Speaker C:Oh, jeez.
Speaker B:Oh, my God.
Speaker B:You just bring back as some kind of weird serial killer.
Speaker B:And, like, this was not the vision.
Speaker E:He a cannibal now?
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker B:It's like he's the only one participating, like, Mad Max's activities.
Speaker B:This ain't even the setting.
Speaker F:He only eats other Dragonborn.
Speaker B:Oh, my God.
Speaker C:It's the only thing that satiates him anymore.
Speaker B:Because, I mean, after you kill some gods, what's the closest thing that you can feel to be, like, becoming.
Speaker B:Like, feeling alive?
Speaker B:You gotta become a cannibal.
Speaker E:I guess eating your own species counts, I guess.
Speaker F:Your own species by eating them all.
Speaker C:Exactly.
Speaker E:Oh, that's terrifying.
Speaker B:He is the one true Dragonborn.
Speaker C:There can only be one.
Speaker F:I'm gonna turn this into something, and then I will send it to you guys.
Speaker E:I'm scared.
Speaker E:I'm genuinely scared.
Speaker E:When CJ says that, I get scared.
Speaker C:Jeez.
Speaker B:CJ's writing his erotic friend fiction writing.
Speaker E:I think he's already got it wrote.
Speaker E:I Don't know what.
Speaker C:They're already, like, movie scripts out, waiting, waiting for feedback.
Speaker E:He's waiting for somebody to buy the script.
Speaker E:It's not very expensive.
Speaker E:He just has it.
Speaker F:Don't worry.
Speaker F:This will debut soon.
Speaker B:Oh, no.
Speaker D:On his only fans, his only slimes.
Speaker C:Jesus.
Speaker C:Oh.
Speaker B:Oh, Christ.
Speaker B:That's terrible.
Speaker F:I'm.
Speaker B:I'm generally terrified to see what he makes.
Speaker G:Right?
Speaker E:I am, too.
Speaker E:I tell you this all the time.
Speaker B:He makes today.
Speaker B:Oh, man.
Speaker E:So.
Speaker H:Oh, don't you fret, amigos.
Speaker H:Don't you fret.
Speaker B:So what have been.
Speaker B:Would have been some of you guys, like, most memorable moments in, like, the campaign, like, up to where we've been.
Speaker B:It doesn't have to be, like, your own moment, but I feel like there's been a couple moments where I was like, I'm always going to remember that.
Speaker B:Like, when I run back into what, like, this was when we played.
Speaker B:There's always going to be, like, certain highlights that always hit in my head.
Speaker B:What is some.
Speaker B:What's like, some of the stuff that you guys have, like, locked in the old memory bank?
Speaker E:When the genie was torturing Damocles, when Thor was with.
Speaker C:Honestly, that was so good.
Speaker C:Oh, my God.
Speaker E:It was only torturing him, too.
Speaker C:Oh, that was so funny,.
Speaker B:Man.
Speaker B:Legitimately, if it would have been switched and I would have been with Thorn, I would have been the one tor getting tortured.
Speaker B:Like, when I went around the little.
Speaker B:The little.
Speaker B:What's it called?
Speaker B:Little Hurricane, I would have grabbed him.
Speaker B:I was like, if I'm suffering, you're suffering too, brother.
Speaker C:Just pulled me in with you.
Speaker B:If I'm not having a good time, no one's having a good time.
Speaker C:It's funny.
Speaker C:I'm trying to think of a.
Speaker C:Trying to think of a good one.
Speaker C:The one I always, like, immediately go back to is the fight that Thorn and Scorch had.
Speaker C:I felt like that was very epic.
Speaker C:And then this will.
Speaker C:This will come out after the next episode.
Speaker C:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker C:So, like, after defeating Tiamat, too.
Speaker C:That was.
Speaker C:That was insane.
Speaker C:That was really, really cool.
Speaker B:Yeah, that.
Speaker B:The amount of, like, damage output we did on that final round, I was like, jesus, bro.
Speaker B:I was like, that was a lot.
Speaker B:I like that bird.
Speaker B:Just, like, fireball wand.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:All the seven shots of the fireball one.
Speaker B:He's like, I'm let go.
Speaker B:I'm helping.
Speaker E:Pretty much.
Speaker B:You shouldn't.
Speaker B:Bottle rockets, right?
Speaker C:That's funny.
Speaker F:Were you.
Speaker C:Were you guys ever those, like, idiot kids shooting Roman candles at each other or was that just me?
Speaker D:Oh, God.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker D:Harry Potter.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker F:Oh, no, I did a lot of four wheeler.
Speaker F:I mean, yeah, dude, I used to play.
Speaker F:I used to play tag on ATVs where you actually had to slam into them and touch them for it to count as a tag.
Speaker B:And you wonder why your spine doesn't work properly.
Speaker C:How many?
Speaker E:How many?
Speaker F:That's from when my cousin pushed me off that swing set and I should have snapped my neck, but somehow it didn't snap.
Speaker B:It's a bunch of little things compounded into one big thing.
Speaker C:Oh, God.
Speaker F:I can neither confirm nor deny.
Speaker B:And, dude, we used to skip rocks at each other.
Speaker B:We used to throw them and try to hit bigger rocks to get them airborne and hit somebody.
Speaker B:That's what we did.
Speaker E:Oh, we would take smoke bombs and throw them at each other through slingshots, light them, and then you're shooting smoke bombs at them.
Speaker B:Or is it like the little poppers you throw on the ground and they just.
Speaker B:We used to throw.
Speaker C:I remember throwing those at each other.
Speaker B:Yeah, we used to try to aim for face.
Speaker E:Dang that dude.
Speaker B:Face, bro.
Speaker C:That was the one time I was very appreciative that I wear glasses.
Speaker D:Built in squints.
Speaker C:Exactly.
Speaker B:Hey, dude, my sister, like, nailed me right between the eyes.
Speaker B:Like, right with my eyebrows.
Speaker B:Me that stung.
Speaker D:I was like, oh, you know, bro, it's so sad.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker B:Now.
Speaker B:Now my dream of cosplaying as Frida Kahlo will never be come true.
Speaker B:So, Mac, let me ask you this.
Speaker B:So Thorn is like a beloved character, dude.
Speaker B:Like, I haven't met anybody who doesn't like him.
Speaker B:But if you.
Speaker B:If you weren't to play Thorn, if you weren't going to play Thorn, if you.
Speaker B:What was your second option if it wasn't him?
Speaker C:I started making a.
Speaker C:Just straight up, like, wizard sorcerer before.
Speaker C:Because when I reached out to coffee the first time, it was right after Stygius left.
Speaker C:And so I was like, oh, you're going to have, like a magic spot open.
Speaker C:I was like, I.
Speaker C:And I've, you know, I've played anything and everything.
Speaker C:I've, like, DM other campaigns and stuff before.
Speaker C:So I'm just like, I can fit a role and then just make the character kind of like, however the.
Speaker C:Like, however I'm feeling.
Speaker C:But yeah, I started making like a Sorcerer.
Speaker C:I think I was going to try to make him maybe like a drow or something.
Speaker C:Like semi.
Speaker C:Like, I like doing the.
Speaker C:More like, out there species and stuff.
Speaker C:Hence the Dragonborn.
Speaker C:Yeah, I've always wanted to play an ooze, though.
Speaker C:I always Thought that would be really, really fun.
Speaker B:What are they called now?
Speaker B:Like, the Gelatinins?
Speaker C:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker C:They're like, like a humanoid version of a gelatinous cube.
Speaker D:Just a living loogie.
Speaker C:The living loogie?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Dude, when.
Speaker B:When coffee's like, yeah, we bring you on.
Speaker B:Just let me know what you guys want to play.
Speaker B:Like, so let me know your ideas.
Speaker B:There's a book that I wanted to bust out.
Speaker B:It's called the Cassarda, where it's just like, evil races.
Speaker B:I was like, dude, the fuck?
Speaker B:Like, the evil classes and shit, they have, like, a druid, but it's like a blood summoning druid.
Speaker B:Ooh.
Speaker B:I was like, that'd be pretty cool.
Speaker B:But I was like, I don't know.
Speaker B:Let me go.
Speaker B:Let me see what else they got.
Speaker B:And then he's like, oh, I have like, these books for, like.
Speaker B:For gunslinger.
Speaker B:Like, they updated the thing.
Speaker B:And in the NAT1 campaign, I was playing a gunslinger druid.
Speaker B:I was like, a gunslinger would be fun too.
Speaker B:I was like, but I also like the little magical aspect of it.
Speaker B:So I was like, let me try a wizard.
Speaker B:I was like, what class I want to be.
Speaker B:I was going to be so close to being a chronomancer.
Speaker G:Yeah.
Speaker B:I was like, let's go, Necromancy.
Speaker C:Oh, there you go.
Speaker B:What about you, cj?
Speaker B:What would have been your alternate.
Speaker F:My alternate tour?
Speaker B:What random out of pocket shit would you have played if you weren't playing a fucking spider man?
Speaker F:I probably would have tried bringing Tor somehow because he was just so fun to play and the.
Speaker F:That could have been done with him with extra feats and all kinds of other.
Speaker F:Like, yeah, he.
Speaker F:He could have been something to be reckoned with.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And I think, like, when.
Speaker B:Before we had actually started, like, building characters, I think we had discussed bringing Stoney and Tour into this, and I was like, I don't know.
Speaker B:I don't know if it would fit, like, how those characters play.
Speaker B:Let's try something else.
Speaker B:And somehow we landed on Russian.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker F:Yeah.
Speaker B:I think at first it was just gonna be an alias, but then we're like, nah, it.
Speaker B:We're going full Russian.
Speaker B:I know when you guys came with.
Speaker E:Me with the aliases, I was like, oh, cool.
Speaker E:You know, this.
Speaker E:This is gonna be interesting.
Speaker E:And then you guys came with Russian accents, and I was like, oh, interesting.
Speaker E:Very, very interesting.
Speaker E:I wonder how this is gonna go.
Speaker B:And it's.
Speaker E:It's.
Speaker E:Hasn't gone how I expected, but at the same time, exactly how I expected.
Speaker E:Two Russian.
Speaker E:Russian brothers.
Speaker D:The Last episode, they're just gonna reveal that it actually was aliases, and they're not actually Russian.
Speaker B:Hey, frillers, how you doing?
Speaker E:Of course.
Speaker C:Now just have, like, English accents.
Speaker D:Hello, chops.
Speaker B:They're just two down ass fool.
Speaker E:Hitting him with the.
Speaker E:Hey, gringo, how are you?
Speaker B:What's going on, gabacho?
Speaker B:Check dog.
Speaker B:In all fairness, I feel like we didn't play these characters.
Speaker B:We didn't play these characters as chaotic as we were originally planning to play them.
Speaker B:Like, we're running a syndicate of thieves and murderers.
Speaker B:I think we've been pretty chill with the exception of that one tavern fight.
Speaker B:And that was an accident.
Speaker F:Yeah, I. I haven't even dug into the darker side of his back story yet.
Speaker B:Yeah, there really, like, a straightforward, linear kind of mission thing there.
Speaker B:I was like, I don't think we got time to murder here, but we.
Speaker B:We've been able to sprinkle it in there.
Speaker C:Like the.
Speaker C:The.
Speaker B:What was it an elf that accidentally murdered in that tavern?
Speaker B:As I said, that was accidental.
Speaker B:I was trying to knock him out.
Speaker B:But I guess.
Speaker B:Fantasmal killer.
Speaker E:Knock him out as he casts phantasmal force.
Speaker B:Correction, it was phantasmal killer.
Speaker B:Okay, you're like the name implies that he was gonna die.
Speaker E:Eradicate his brain.
Speaker E:He's gonna have.
Speaker E:He's gonna have a puddle in his.
Speaker B:Head, and that's fine as long as he survives.
Speaker B:It's not gonna be a good life, but it's gonna be a long life.
Speaker E:I just want to not do the right thing as a dm.
Speaker E:I think I did the right thing as a dm, not making him a vegetable.
Speaker E:Okay.
Speaker B:It would have been a lot cooler if you did, but.
Speaker B:And then the fucking Anthony burning down the house.
Speaker B:He didn't burn it.
Speaker B:He fucking straight, like, just disintegrated that goddamn house.
Speaker B:That was pretty cool.
Speaker B:I like that he let me do that.
Speaker B:That was pretty sick.
Speaker D:That and then just fucking the mantle.
Speaker D:Mac, something I like to ask the ends.
Speaker D:Is there any, like, rules or mechanics that you hate and will refuse to employ?
Speaker C:I don't know if there's any that, like, immediately come to mind.
Speaker C:I know they.
Speaker C:I.
Speaker C:There are some of, like, the new changes maybe that were made, like.
Speaker C:Like the smite being a bonus action instead of just a straight up hit.
Speaker C:The way counterspell works now, I don't love because now it's like a con save rather than, like a roll of the die.
Speaker C:And the spell isn't, like, used.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:If you, like, pass the con save, it doesn't or like, if it's not count or if it is countered, whoever used the spell that got countered still keeps the spell slot.
Speaker C:So it's like, oh, I can just do it again next time.
Speaker C:Like, yeah, I lose the action, but I still have all my spells left.
Speaker C:It doesn't feel as, like, intense anymore.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:I mean, at the end of the day, you're still casting it, so you're still using it, right?
Speaker C:Exactly.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:Those are probably the only things that, like, immediately come to mind.
Speaker C:There aren't any specific rules though, so.
Speaker D:Maybe they have an idea of what they're getting into.
Speaker D:What do you feel like your alignment would be as a dm?
Speaker C:I. I am very.
Speaker C:I like to say that I'm very.
Speaker C:Rule of Cool.
Speaker C:Like, I just want people to have fun there.
Speaker C:There's like some DM horror stories that I've seen where it's like, you know, the DM is just throwing shit at us all the time and trying to, like, kill our characters and do all these things.
Speaker C:And I'm like, no, I. I think I literally told D when we talked about her new character.
Speaker C:Just like, I'm not trying to kill you.
Speaker C:I want you to win.
Speaker C:Like, I want you to do well and have fun with it.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:I'm like, if you could think of something creative, I'm going to help you make it work.
Speaker C:Like, I want it to be cool.
Speaker B:Turtle Gatling gun.
Speaker B:That's my idea.
Speaker C:If you can.
Speaker C:If you can justify it, I'm down.
Speaker F:Because that sounds badassee.
Speaker F:He got that as an idea from watching me play Pal World.
Speaker B:I thought of it more like there's a Yu Gi oh card that's like catapult turtle where it launches another monster.
Speaker B:I want to do that.
Speaker B:Can we do that instead of a.
Speaker D:Gatling gun, you got to do it like a double barrel shotgun.
Speaker D:So, like, the recoil just launches him back.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah, Watch his back around.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:I'm thinking like, Anthony, especially because he's like a undead turtle.
Speaker C:He like, sucks his head into his shell and then when he shoots out out, his head comes off.
Speaker C:And that's the first shot.
Speaker B:Jesus.
Speaker B:I was gonna say, like, he shoots back in.
Speaker B:The force propels him into, like, a secondary weapon.
Speaker C:Oh, there you go.
Speaker F:No, I like the head shooting out.
Speaker F:That one's way better.
Speaker E:Rubber band.
Speaker E:You treat it like a rubber band.
Speaker E:You hold the shell and you pull his head all the way out.
Speaker F:Shoots a turd at 20 miles an hour to your face.
Speaker B:Just start using him as a.
Speaker B:Like a blue shell in Mario oh, nice.
Speaker F:Hell yeah.
Speaker B:Start launching them.
Speaker C:That's fun, dude.
Speaker E:Well, I don't know if you want to mess with the turtle.
Speaker E:It might be a God.
Speaker E:It might not be undead.
Speaker E:It might be a God, Tur.
Speaker B:He's a sweet boy is what he is.
Speaker B:And that's all I know.
Speaker B:I don't speak that ghost mumbo jumbo he was saying.
Speaker B:All I know is he was getting.
Speaker F:Pretty antsy with that gun, all right?
Speaker C:He was ready to use it, bro.
Speaker B:He's.
Speaker B:He's a down ass fool.
Speaker B:He's ready to shoot whenever he said,.
Speaker F:Hi, my name's Ricky.
Speaker F:Now check out my glicky.
Speaker D:Catch a couple.
Speaker B:God damn it.
Speaker B:That's great.
Speaker B:All right, so before we move on to the next segment, I know I've already asked you guys this, like, multiple times, so it's gonna be reversed for next season.
Speaker B:So you guys might have a different answer.
Speaker B:You guys are playing at, like, say, Comic Con Main stage.
Speaker B:What's your guys's walkout music?
Speaker B:Mac as a dm, what would be your song?
Speaker B:And coffee as a player, what would be your walkout song?
Speaker F:Oh, boy.
Speaker E:Give me a second.
Speaker C:I gotta really think about this one.
Speaker C:I gotta look now.
Speaker E:Oh, open the wrong thing.
Speaker D:I saw that.
Speaker E:You saw nothing.
Speaker F:I wish I didn't see that.
Speaker B:Oh, my God.
Speaker F:Oh.
Speaker C:Oh, I know what it is.
Speaker C:Hold on.
Speaker F:I just saw something called marionette.com.
Speaker B:The.
Speaker C:Are you looking at my browser history right now?
Speaker F:That's what flashed on coffee screen.
Speaker E:No, it was the.
Speaker F:It was.
Speaker E:You clearly read wrong.
Speaker E:It clearly said My Little Pony fan club.
Speaker E:You clearly read it.
Speaker B:Oh, God.
Speaker F:Oh, I knew it began with an M and it was a.
Speaker B:Was it a Brony's admission fee page?
Speaker C:Oh, God.
Speaker E:I don't have to be the state of Massachusetts.
Speaker C:The.
Speaker C:The song.
Speaker C:I. I found this, actually, from a tick tock edit for Harry Potter stuff, but.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker C:It's called lion by Saint Mesa.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker C:It's amazing.
Speaker C:I love it.
Speaker C:It's very.
Speaker C:Just, like, intense and I don't know, it's.
Speaker C:It's just a really good song that I like, but that's.
Speaker C:Actually, I would have to change my walkout music.
Speaker E:I have to change mine.
Speaker E:Mine has to be chips.
Speaker C:Chips?
Speaker D:What is that?
Speaker D:Are you just gonna eat a bag of chips and that's the audio or like.
Speaker C:No, no, no, no.
Speaker E:It's a song by the real Mackenzie is what it's called.
Speaker E:It's chips by the real McKenzie.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker C:That's what my player's gonna be.
Speaker F:Well, because my character Is about just interestingness.
Speaker F:I would say the Alex Terrible cover of Barbie Girl again.
Speaker E:Great cover.
Speaker F:Yes.
Speaker B:Solid pick.
Speaker B:Solid pick.
Speaker F:It's either that or the Ricky Martin cover he does.
Speaker B:Oh, I thought you said Ricky Martin covered Alex Terrible.
Speaker B:I was like, okay.
Speaker B:Oh, God, that would be amazing.
Speaker E:It's like Michael.
Speaker E:It's like if someone thought Michael Jackson covered Weird Al Yankovic, that would also be cool.
Speaker B:What.
Speaker C:What would yours be, Rudy?
Speaker B:I'm gonna stick to what I previously said for this season.
Speaker B:Gigolo by Baby no Money.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:That's a good song.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker B:He knows what's up.
Speaker B:Just because, dude, he has the hardest turn of phrase in a song I've ever heard.
Speaker B:That was it.
Speaker B:I call my shorty Dwayne the way she's rocking on my johnson.
Speaker B:That is legitimately the main reason why I love that song.
Speaker D:Do that same line, but with your Russian accent.
Speaker B:I don't want to do that.
Speaker B:Cj.
Speaker B:You have.
Speaker B:You can do a better Russian accent.
Speaker B:You want to take this one?
Speaker F:What are you talking about now?
Speaker C:You gotta somehow mix it into the.
Speaker C:Into the next episode.
Speaker H:Hold on.
Speaker F:Can you read me the line again?
Speaker F:I'm.
Speaker H:I've had a lot of vodka.
Speaker F:Come on.
Speaker H:What do you expect?
Speaker F:I had to get into character.
Speaker B:I call my shorty Dwayne the way she's rocking on my johnson.
Speaker F:I call my shorty Dwayne the way she rocking on my johnson.
Speaker B:It's pretty good, but you haven't heard.
Speaker E:Until you hear Dracula say it.
Speaker E:That'll.
Speaker E:That'll really change it.
Speaker E:That'll really change it.
Speaker B:You want to take a crack at that one?
Speaker C:I'll.
Speaker E:I'll do it.
Speaker E:I gotta make myself not laugh because it.
Speaker C:I.
Speaker E:As soon as I do it, I'm gonna start.
Speaker B:Dude, in a.
Speaker B:We were doing, like, A.
Speaker B:For NAT1.
Speaker B:We were doing, like, a second project at the same time as we're doing, like, main campaign thing.
Speaker D:Oh, God.
Speaker B:And the character I was playing was, like, a vampire dude.
Speaker B:He was like a demon possessed vampire dude.
Speaker B:And I was like, I'm going to try a Transylvania accent.
Speaker B:And then at the start of every sentence, to get the character, I had to go.
Speaker B:I was like, ah, I can hear it every single time you.
Speaker C:To get into it, I go, type 1 diabetes, type 2 diabetes.
Speaker C:I call my girl Dwayne how she rocking on my johnson?
Speaker B:Okay, I need one more thing from you, though.
Speaker B:One more thing.
Speaker B:Can you do it in that, like, radio announcer voice that you were doing your sponsorships at the.
Speaker B:Like, at the beat?
Speaker C:How's she rocking on my johnson.
Speaker B:God damn it.
Speaker B:Clip that, cj.
Speaker B:That's gonna be a drop now.
Speaker E:Or I can really hit it here.
Speaker C:Let me see.
Speaker E:This is a real radio voice.
Speaker E:I call her Dwayne.
Speaker E:How's she rocking on my johnson?
Speaker B:God damn it.
Speaker B:That's everything I wanted.
Speaker E:Or do you want to hear?
Speaker B:Yo, he froze on my screen when he did that.
Speaker B:And, like, his eyes were, like, all whited out.
Speaker B:He looked like a goddamn demon.
Speaker B:That was terrifying.
Speaker B:I'm gonna go ahead and close out the visual screen on my head.
Speaker B:Truly, truly terrifying.
Speaker B:Okay, guys, you.
Speaker B:Do you have a D4 on you?
Speaker E:I think from our new.
Speaker E:Our new affiliates over at Dyson.
Speaker B:It's a special Shameless blood.
Speaker E:I gotta get it out.
Speaker C:Shameless plug.
Speaker B:Okay, so we're gonna go ahead and move on to the.
Speaker B:We're gonna go ahead and move on to the next segment, which is the game show part of the show.
Speaker B:Wait, hold on.
Speaker B:We're being flagged down by the producer, Dante.
Speaker B:What the just exploded?
Speaker D:Well, basically an alchemist bar fight just created three new colors.
Speaker E:What the.
Speaker F:Are they safe?
Speaker D:No one of them can even scream.
Speaker D:It's pretty wild.
Speaker B:And you?
Speaker D:I'm stained, but you know, like, in a sexy way.
Speaker B:All right, anyways, back to our regularly scheduled program.
Speaker B:Coffee.
Speaker B:Go ahead and roll this.
Speaker B:That D4 so we can find out what you're playing today, my little pill.
Speaker E:D4.
Speaker E:Yeah, I will.
Speaker E:It's a three.
Speaker B:Alrighty.
Speaker B:A three is gonna get you 30 second backstories.
Speaker F:Oh.
Speaker B:So for.
Speaker B:Yes, so for our new.
Speaker B:Our new listeners, this is the part of the show where CJ plays a game against our guests, and they play a game against our host, which is C.J.
Speaker B:And Dante.
Speaker B:And if by the end of the season, CJ has more wins than losses, I have to take him out to dinner.
Speaker B:He won season two, which I'm still kind of salty about.
Speaker B:But as of season three right now, he has nine losses and four wins.
Speaker E:Holy.
Speaker F:Yeah, he's.
Speaker F:He's been assisting in me getting my ass kicked.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:I love it so much.
Speaker B:That sashimi is right in my hands now because this, I believe this is the final episode for this season.
Speaker H:Dick Shimi.
Speaker B:Son of a.
Speaker B:You better not.
Speaker D:So with 30 seconds and soy sauce, you can taste it.
Speaker B:You know what?
Speaker B:Put a tab in that.
Speaker F:We're.
Speaker B:Come back to that later.
Speaker E:He knows because he's tried it.
Speaker B:I got some low sodium soy sauce.
Speaker B:We're gonna try it, guys.
Speaker B:We're gonna.
Speaker B:It's not weird.
Speaker B:It's science.
Speaker B:Is it, though?
Speaker B:It's whatever I say it is.
Speaker B:All right, so the 30 second backstories, for people who don't know what it is, is I give the players a name, a class, and a race, and they have 30 seconds to come up with the character.
Speaker B:They all run them to see who has the best, and at the end of it, I'll decide who has the best character.
Speaker B:C.J.
Speaker B:Since it's.
Speaker B:I think we do it every time that coffee is a guest, I think we play double points.
Speaker B:You want to go for double points?
Speaker B:Because I don't think it's gonna make it.
Speaker B:I don't think it's gonna make it.
Speaker B:I don't think it's gonna make a difference.
Speaker D:There's two guests, so maybe we should triple it.
Speaker D:Give him a chance at victory.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker E:I mean, it's the last.
Speaker E:If it's the last one in the season, you got to do a triple.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker E:They got to hit the triple kill.
Speaker B:So would that be three points if you win that?
Speaker D:Still wouldn't win.
Speaker B:Yeah, he still wouldn't win.
Speaker F:It's.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:This is a.
Speaker C:This is a 10.10.
Speaker C:Just jump it all away.
Speaker F:Just.
Speaker C:Just.
Speaker E:You gotta just send it.
Speaker E:It's all or nothing.
Speaker E:It's a coin flip.
Speaker B:No, it's a coin flip.
Speaker B:You almost had you.
Speaker B:You convincing?
Speaker D:No.
Speaker C:You?
Speaker B:Hell, no.
Speaker B:How do we do this?
Speaker F:How about this?
Speaker C:We'll do.
Speaker B:We'll do.
Speaker C:We'll do double points, like, regular.
Speaker C:If CJ Wins, then we do a coin flip.
Speaker C:And if it.
Speaker C:If he wins the coin flip, then we quadruple the double points.
Speaker B:Yeah, quadruple.
Speaker E:I like the way.
Speaker B:That would be eight points.
Speaker C:Yep.
Speaker E:Yep.
Speaker B:I don't know, man.
Speaker E:Your gambler really bad.
Speaker E:Or he could win really, really good.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:All right, everybody, just.
Speaker D:So CJ Wins.
Speaker B:Never mind.
Speaker B:You know what?
Speaker B:Now it's just double points.
Speaker B:Now we're doing double points.
Speaker F:You know, this.
Speaker F:This one isn't gonna be a thrown one.
Speaker C:No, Rudy.
Speaker C:I was gonna say if we.
Speaker C:If we get so low, maybe he owes you two dinners.
Speaker B:He's like, I got a kid on the way.
Speaker B:I'm not doing that.
Speaker F:Yeah.
Speaker F:Yeah.
Speaker F:I got a kid on the way.
Speaker F:Just found out it's gonna be a daughter.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker F:Yeah.
Speaker F:Now the real planning begins.
Speaker B:Yay.
Speaker B:All right, you guys ready for the game?
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:All right, so the name of the character is James Longbottom.
Speaker B:He's a.
Speaker B:He's a paladin, and his race is a Herringon.
Speaker E:What the hell's the heron gone?
Speaker B:It is like a Rabbit person.
Speaker B:It is a rabbit person.
Speaker F:It.
Speaker B:You shouldn't have told him.
Speaker B:I want to see him play a badger.
Speaker B:It's just a.
Speaker B:It's a rabbit that thinks they're a badger.
Speaker B:That adds flavor.
Speaker B:That adds flavor.
Speaker B:That sounds like schizophrenia to me.
Speaker B:All right, are you guys ready?
Speaker B:Oh, yeah, you guys, 30 seconds starts.
Speaker B:No, while they do that, I'm gonna go ahead and riff here.
Speaker B:Do you believe.
Speaker B:I think it's about as much as I can sing there without legally getting into any trouble.
Speaker B:I totally forgot to turn off the reverb when I was talking.
Speaker B:Or did I?
Speaker A:Did I?
Speaker B:Did I. I'm calling to.
Speaker B:You caused me.
Speaker B:Wanda, your guys's time is almost up.
Speaker B:You got about two seconds.
Speaker B:Now you're done.
Speaker B:You like that abruptness.
Speaker B:And you're done.
Speaker E:And.
Speaker C:And.
Speaker B:Alrighty.
Speaker B:Who would like to go first on that?
Speaker D:It.
Speaker B:Grip it and rip it, brother.
Speaker D:A pleasure to meet you.
Speaker D:The name's James Longbottom.
Speaker D:I happen to be a holy bunny of sorts.
Speaker D:And I also am out for vengeance.
Speaker D:I happen to be a hopper of the hip variety.
Speaker D:And I'm out for vengeance.
Speaker D:And that is my oath.
Speaker D:For I was defeated in a battle of lyrics.
Speaker D:It wasn't very good, so to speak.
Speaker D:So I'll do it my best hip hop.
Speaker D:I don't stop.
Speaker D:That's it.
Speaker D:I stopped the end.
Speaker B:I stopped the end.
Speaker B:Did you go, bard?
Speaker B:Halfway through.
Speaker C:He did a little multi class there.
Speaker D:Hip and hop.
Speaker D:Because he's a rabbit dude, you know?
Speaker D:And then the vengeance.
Speaker C:I don't know.
Speaker D:Whatever.
Speaker B:Yeah, I was like, I forgot to tell you guys the oath.
Speaker B:I'm sorry.
Speaker B:I can't bust bars at the top of my head.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker B:That was pretty good, though, I'll give you that.
Speaker B:All right, who would like to go next?
Speaker B:Don't be shy.
Speaker F:I mean it.
Speaker F:Why not?
Speaker D:This one's for all the marbles, dog.
Speaker H:Well, hello there, everybody.
Speaker H:I'm a James Longbottom.
Speaker H:Now, I was once, many moons ago, a humble guardian of a woodland glade.
Speaker H:And then I had some crazy happen in my life.
Speaker H:And I got transformed by a radiant vision from this.
Speaker H:This goddess of justice.
Speaker H:To be fair, I mean, I am an honorable man, as they would say.
Speaker H:Now I get to use my nimble and powerful legs to carry me into these righteous battles as I roam from village to village, shielding and protecting the innocent and slicing in half with this nice gleaming greatsword.
Speaker H:Now, if you need help, just give me a holler and I'll go hop on your way.
Speaker H:Y' all take it easy.
Speaker B:Now, I thought my brain auto filled that sentence.
Speaker B:I thought you were gonna say, if you need help, I'm gonna hop on your wife.
Speaker B:I was like the.
Speaker B:You just say, God damn.
Speaker B:That was pretty good.
Speaker B:That's pretty good.
Speaker B:That might be hard to beat.
Speaker B:That was pretty solid.
Speaker B:I don't know why you did the western voice though, but.
Speaker B:All right, man.
Speaker B:As I guess Dante said, everybody's a critic.
Speaker B:All right, who would like to go next?
Speaker E:Mac, do you want me to go?
Speaker C:I don't care.
Speaker C:You go, Migo.
Speaker E:Hello, the name is James Longbottom.
Speaker E:I used to be just a lowly tribeman guarding the many herd of badges I once protected.
Speaker E:Then one fateful day, some scorn horsemen came in and killed all of our badges.
Speaker E:Now I'm on a dire mission to cut him from his head.
Speaker E:I only want one thing, and it's vengeance.
Speaker B:That was, bro.
Speaker B:He did the badger thing.
Speaker B:That.
Speaker B:He might have that in the pocket.
Speaker D:You gotta love the art of Batman, dude.
Speaker B:That was.
Speaker B:I like how everybody went oath of vengeance.
Speaker E:No, I went actually, oath breaker.
Speaker C:Oh, okay, okay.
Speaker F:You can't trust an oath breaker.
Speaker B:He's the badger boy.
Speaker C:He.
Speaker F:He's.
Speaker F:He's like that family nunn maker.
Speaker C:Jesus Christ.
Speaker B:All right, man.
Speaker B:It's you, buddy.
Speaker G:All right.
Speaker G:Now listen here.
Speaker G:You step off of my carrot farm.
Speaker G:You are getting too close to my plantation.
Speaker G:Look, the only thing I love more than my wife is my carrot farm.
Speaker G:And that is what I am devoted to in every sense of the way.
Speaker G:Now look, I've been here a long ass time.
Speaker G:I am messing around.
Speaker E:I was waiting for it.
Speaker G:You see this carrot saber on my hip?
Speaker G:I will smite the fuck out.
Speaker G:You get off those leaves right now.
Speaker G:I gotta get back to work.
Speaker G:Get back to my 20,000 children that I got waiting around for these carrots and this.
Speaker D:This.
Speaker C:This here growth plantation to get going up.
Speaker C:All right, Rudy, listen here.
Speaker G:If you need help, I'll help you out.
Speaker G:But I only accept carrots as payment.
Speaker G:That's it.
Speaker G:Now hop along.
Speaker G:Off my.
Speaker G:Off my farm right now.
Speaker G:Get the out of you.
Speaker D:If anybody happen to get off my property, brother.
Speaker B:The carrot saber.
Speaker E:When you said carrot plantation, I about lost it.
Speaker B:I was like, what the.
Speaker B:I think that is the first time I've ever been directly addressed in a character thing.
Speaker B:I'll give Mac a win on that one.
Speaker B:That was wild, brother.
Speaker B:That was insane.
Speaker B:Can we stat a carrot saber for the next season?
Speaker C:Oh, hell yeah.
Speaker C:There's not gonna be.
Speaker B:There's.
Speaker C:There's gonna be one hiding in the woods just waiting for you.
Speaker D:Now it's gonna be James Longbottom.
Speaker C:Yep.
Speaker B:Oh, my God.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker E:All four of them.
Speaker B:All right, Mac, you take the win on that one, CJ.
Speaker B:That ends the season with you having four wins and 11 losses since we went double points on that.
Speaker B:Well, two points.
Speaker B:I was like, double of one is two correct.
Speaker B:I'm just making sure I'm not good at math.
Speaker C:Is mathing.
Speaker B:As you can tell by the episodes, whenever I do damage on, like, just stay quiet until max.
Speaker B:Like, that's this much.
Speaker B:I'm like, thank you, Mac.
Speaker E:You guys.
Speaker E:You guys make Max do all of your math.
Speaker E:I feel bad.
Speaker B:He's smart.
Speaker F:I am literally an engineer.
Speaker F:What's our excuse?
Speaker C:All I do is math all the time.
Speaker C:I love it.
Speaker B:Yeah, we're not smart, cj.
Speaker B:They literally put a test in front of us with the answers, and we still failed.
Speaker F:And.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:All right, we're gonna move on to the final segment.
Speaker B:It's one roll to rule them all.
Speaker B:It's basically when you guys tell us when a nat20 has saved you guys and a nat1 has completely screwed it.
Speaker E:I got one.
Speaker B:Go ahead, man.
Speaker E:Every time you try to silvery barbs me.
Speaker B:You know what?
Speaker B:You son of a.
Speaker B:You've already said that.
Speaker B:You pick another story.
Speaker B:No, no, no.
Speaker E:It keeps happening.
Speaker B:You just son of a bitch.
Speaker B:You either have.
Speaker E:Do you know how silvery barbed by you guys?
Speaker E:I have stories for days.
Speaker E:In our latest episode alone, you guys tried everything lot dice, and I would still somehow pull.
Speaker B:You rolled six natties back to back.
Speaker B:You got loaded dice.
Speaker B:Are you sold you some?
Speaker E:I rolled six crits.
Speaker E:Not all of them were natural twenties, but, like, three of them were.
Speaker B:I'm saying either you have weighted dice or you sold your soul.
Speaker B:That is unnatural, and I do not like it.
Speaker D:That sounds fudgier than a pan of brownies.
Speaker B:God damn it.
Speaker C:That's funny.
Speaker B:All right, Mac, what do you got recently?
Speaker C:So you.
Speaker C:If we had had started playing by now, you'll know the new travel mechanic that we're gonna.
Speaker C:That I'm throwing into our new campaign.
Speaker C:But I tested it out with some of my friends, and I had this, like, rock slide or something going on where it was just gonna, like, take all of them out.
Speaker C:And I was using online dice for a second, and then I was like, you know what?
Speaker C:I'll use my regular dice.
Speaker C:And I roll.
Speaker C:And I was like, shit, that was a Nat 20.
Speaker C:I was like, you know what?
Speaker C:We're just gonna roll another one to see what happens.
Speaker C:And I rolled another Nat20 and I was like, I'm going to kill all my friends and I don't want this to happen.
Speaker E:It happens.
Speaker E:It happens, doesn't it, Matt?
Speaker C:You just can't stop.
Speaker B:It's just like.
Speaker C:We're only like two minutes in.
Speaker C:What do you mean?
Speaker C:This is happening right now?
Speaker B:Jesus.
Speaker B:So what I'm hearing is we should probably prepare a backup character sheet just in case.
Speaker C:Just.
Speaker C:Just in case it might be a good idea.
Speaker B:All right, guys.
Speaker B:Well, that's pretty much all the time we have for today's episode, closing out the final season.
Speaker B:Thank you guys so much for being on the final episode.
Speaker B:It's always fucking great having you guys on.
Speaker B:It's always a hoot and a.
Speaker B:You guys got anything you want to plug back?
Speaker E:You want to do some honors and plugging?
Speaker E:Do you remember all the things we got going on?
Speaker C:I remember half of them.
Speaker E:I'll get the other half then.
Speaker B:Yeah, go to.
Speaker C:Go check us out on Coffee and D and D, anywhere you can get your podcast.
Speaker C:We're Also on Instagram, TikTok, Blue Sky, Couple other ones maybe.
Speaker C:We've got our partnership with Dice Envy.
Speaker C:Go check them out.
Speaker C:They've got tons of great dice, especially there.
Speaker C:Yeah, their coffee theme guys are incredible.
Speaker C:Yeah, go check them out.
Speaker E:And for me, go check me out at Mr. Coffeehorse on YouTube and on Twitch, as I have a little fun side gaming thing going on along with this great and fantastic podcast.
Speaker B:Hell yeah, dude.
Speaker B:Awesome.
Speaker B:Go check them out.
Speaker B:And on our end, we want to say a very special thank you to our episode sponsors.
Speaker B:If you guys want your beards to look like a million plait, go ahead and check out Beard Sorcery.
Speaker B:If you guys want to pick up some of the best minis in the game right now, go ahead and check out Fireball figurines.
Speaker B:And if you ever wondered if dragon meat is smoky or not, go ahead and check out Mythic Meats.
Speaker B:If you want to see more from me, CG and Dante, go ahead and check out all of season one, season two, and with the inclusion of this episode, all of season three.
Speaker B:Stay tuned.
Speaker B:We have some great stuff being planned for season four, which is going to be a little bit weirder than what we usually do, which is saying a lot.
Speaker B:Sorry doesn't start out as a normal fucking podcast, but saying a lot.
Speaker B:And if you guys want to see me sorry, me, Coffee, Mac, and cj.
Speaker B:Coffee's throwing me off, dude.
Speaker B:He's like rocking back and forth.
Speaker B:If you want to see all of us, go ahead and check us out.
Speaker B:Out on coffee and dnd.
Speaker F:Back.
Speaker E:We're bringing coffee.
Speaker E:They're gonna be different.
Speaker E:Yeah, they're gonna be different, but they're gonna be fun.
Speaker B:Hell yeah.
Speaker B:Super excited for that.
Speaker B:All right, cj, that's pretty much it on my end.
Speaker B:Go ahead and take it away.
Speaker H:Well, I think adventurers will go ahead.
Speaker F:And drain the last of our mugs and call it a night here at the Tavern.
Speaker F:And a huge thank you to our ever hilarious guests.
Speaker F:Yeah, I see you coffee dancing down there, Mac.
Speaker F:You just sitting there being all beautiful like.
Speaker C:Aw.
Speaker C:Thank you guys for having us on for sure.
Speaker C:It's always fun.
Speaker F:Yeah, no, we.
Speaker F:We greatly appreciate you pulling up a chair, sharing some stories and bringing some of that caffeinated chaos you are so ever well known for aboard the Tavern tonight.
Speaker D:Jesus Christ.
Speaker F:Now, if.
Speaker F:If you enjoy all the laughter you're hearing, picture all the laughter you could do by giving these guys a follow over at, you know, coffee and D and D and giving us a follow to hear all the episodes that they are in.
Speaker F:And part of it's awesome.
Speaker F:But with that being said, much love to you all.
Speaker F:Much appreciate you guys.
Speaker F:Time.
Speaker F:And until next time, may your brew stay strong, your party stay weird, and your dice roll kindly.
Speaker F:And we'll see you next time at the Tavern.
Speaker A:You can break our dice, but you'll never break the bond.
Speaker A:This is more than a game.
Speaker A:This is the one and all.
Speaker A:Sam.
