S03E11 - From Paladins to Shenanigans: Adventures in Roleplay
In this engaging episode of our podcast, we delve into the chaotic and tumultuous world of tabletop role-playing games, focusing particularly on the unpredictable nature of dice rolls and their profound impact on gameplay. Our discussion unveils the intricate interplay between character actions and their potential consequences, illustrating how a simple roll can lead to both triumph and disaster. We recount personal anecdotes that highlight the whimsical and often unpredictable outcomes that arise during our campaigns, embodying the spirit of adventure that defines our gaming experiences. Furthermore, we explore the camaraderie that flourishes among players as they navigate the myriad challenges posed by their characters and the narratives they inhabit. Join us as we share insights, laughter, and perhaps a few unexpected revelations from the ever-entertaining realm of Dungeons & Dragons.
Transcript
One shot, one fight no heart, no lie, no guns, no fight.
Speaker A:Just chaos and hate.
Speaker A:Roll for inside one we get a one.
Speaker A:Laughs are high, the stakes are dumb we'll come to chaos, we just beg.
Speaker A:This is Chad One and done.
Speaker A:Chat One and done.
Speaker A:Legends fall and rise for fun One bad robot.
Speaker A:We don't run, we fight through fire and the setting sun.
Speaker A:Chad 1 and 2.
Speaker B:Hello.
Speaker C:Hello.
Speaker B:I was told to be here at 7:30.
Speaker D:It's.
Speaker B:It's been almost an hour now.
Speaker B:What is this sticky note?
Speaker D:Oh, oh, oh.
Speaker B:This is the.
Speaker B:Welcome to Chat One and Done.
Speaker B:The podcast equivalent of clicking random character.
Speaker B:I'm.
Speaker B:I'm not your host, Rudy, and nobody's been kidnapped today, but I'm toast, and I am ready to talk.
Speaker B:Hello.
Speaker D:What are you doing, bro?
Speaker E:Oh, hello.
Speaker B:You guys are late, dude.
Speaker D:We've been sitting out in the tavern waiting for you.
Speaker D:What do you do in the back rooms?
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker B:This is where.
Speaker B:This is where the Uber dropped me off.
Speaker B:Dude, I don't know.
Speaker E:No, no, you come through the front doors, and then we go back through the swinging door, up the stairs.
Speaker B:The Uber dropped me off here.
Speaker B:I don't know, dude.
Speaker B:I'm.
Speaker E:God damn it, Dante.
Speaker E:Did you order his Uber again?
Speaker C:So it was kind of a scheme.
Speaker C:I had people come to my room and, you know, it kind of fell by the wayside.
Speaker C:Anyway, what's up, Toast?
Speaker C:How you doing, brother?
Speaker B:Come to your room.
Speaker B:Who the hell is this guy?
Speaker C:She'll find out.
Speaker E:Oh, you're worse than me.
Speaker D:You ain't gonna like it.
Speaker B:Oh, no.
Speaker E:Run.
Speaker D:Dante, this is Toast.
Speaker D:Toast, this is Dante.
Speaker D:I'm away anyway.
Speaker D:Sorry for the late start, but how you doing today?
Speaker B:I'm.
Speaker B:I'm all right.
Speaker B:The Uber was weird, but ready to.
Speaker B:Ready to talk about.
Speaker B:Talk about everything and anything, you know?
Speaker D:All right, so before we start, go ahead and let the people know the last four of your social.
Speaker D:I'm just kidding.
Speaker D:If you want to let the people know where you're from and what you do.
Speaker B:I'm from Portland, Oregon.
Speaker B:I'm currently living in the.
Speaker B:The great state of Wyoming, brother.
Speaker B:And I'm a wireless sales representative.
Speaker B:I sell cell phones and.
Speaker D:God damn it, bro, that's not what I meant.
Speaker B:On the Internet, you might know me from coffee and D and D. That one.
Speaker D:Jesus Christ, bro.
Speaker B:He wanted the last four of my Social, too.
Speaker B:I found the card.
Speaker B:I could give it to you at any moment.
Speaker B:All right, if you're ready, we need a photocopy.
Speaker D:That.
Speaker B:Okay, I'll give it to the.
Speaker B:To this desk lady up front that's
Speaker D:Dante in a wig.
Speaker C:Unrelated, what was your mother's maiden name
Speaker D:and then was the name of your dog's.
Speaker D:Was the name of your first dog
Speaker E:Jonathan, who was your favorite elementary school teacher?
Speaker B:I would say Ms. Foster, but I probably put something stupid on there.
Speaker D:Hey, I had a Mr. Foster as a Liberian stupid.
Speaker B:What the did you just say?
Speaker D:You heard what the.
Speaker D:I said.
Speaker D:I said I had a librarian named Mr. Foster.
Speaker D:Piece of liberation.
Speaker C:Well, good thing it's February.
Speaker C:February.
Speaker D:Anyway, he looks like he's hit them with a bat.
Speaker B:Anyway.
Speaker B:Do you have one on hand?
Speaker B:I do.
Speaker D:Liberian.
Speaker B:Yeah, that too.
Speaker C:Tell us what you do over at
Speaker B:Coffee and D D. I play Dungeons and Dragons.
Speaker C:Oh.
Speaker B:I'm also the co host for a little.
Speaker B:Little talk show we host kind of some.
Speaker B:Something similar to this little stage area you've got here.
Speaker B:We do with them called.
Speaker B:They're called Coffee Table Talks.
Speaker B:I haven't done one of those in a long time though.
Speaker B:We.
Speaker B:We really talk about anything like nerd related.
Speaker B:I mean, we've talked about everything from Dungeons and Dragons to.
Speaker B:I mean, retro video games and stupid TV shows.
Speaker B:We've.
Speaker B:Like, we've mentioned.
Speaker B:I don't know who that is.
Speaker B:I've never met Robin Big.
Speaker B:You'll have to introduce me one of these days.
Speaker D:Yes, take the head snap on CJ on that.
Speaker D:I saw that real time.
Speaker D:You got a fucking offended there.
Speaker D:Don't you talk about Robin Big like that.
Speaker B:I couldn't talk about Robin Big if I tried.
Speaker B:Like I said, I've never been introduced, so.
Speaker E:Oh, man.
Speaker D:God damn it.
Speaker E:I'm gonna have to find some clips after this, aren't I?
Speaker B:Is there.
Speaker B:Is there a bathroom here?
Speaker E:Yes.
Speaker D:Yeah, it's down the hall.
Speaker D:But we barred the window because the
Speaker B:guests kept trying to.
Speaker B:I already pissed my pants.
Speaker B:I'm sorry I asked.
Speaker B:Too late.
Speaker D:Dante, bucket, please.
Speaker D:And mop bucket's full again.
Speaker E:It's about to be full again when you're done with this one.
Speaker E:Just come on.
Speaker E:We got like five minutes before we need that cleaned up, man.
Speaker D:Jeez.
Speaker D:So you want to.
Speaker D:You want to tell us a little bit about who you play on Coffee and tnt?
Speaker D:I don't know what the fuck he was whispering back.
Speaker D:That was creepy.
Speaker B:Well, my first character that I played, it's my first campaign ever, by the way.
Speaker B:I've died once, so that sucks.
Speaker B:I really liked the character I played.
Speaker B:His name was Damocles.
Speaker B:I started as a monk.
Speaker B:I believe I was Wave, the drunken master Because I was just learning.
Speaker B:And so I didn't want to get crazy with like spell slots and anything like that would hurt my brain to think about while I was playing Valid.
Speaker B:And then from there, I switched to an oath of vengeance Paladin.
Speaker B:He.
Speaker B:He died and came back to life with my epic plot armor.
Speaker B:I said that's what I wanted and I got it, surprisingly.
Speaker B:And so, yeah, I came back as an oath of vengeance Paladin.
Speaker B:So I experimented with spell slots for the first time.
Speaker B:And I didn't know that you had to expend spell slots at first.
Speaker B:So I was just casting willy nilly.
Speaker B:And it got to the point that I had cast so many spells before any kind of rest that everyone was like, how many slots do you have?
Speaker B:And I'm like, what does that mean?
Speaker B:They're like, how many.
Speaker B:How many times are you able to cast spells?
Speaker B:And I'm like, I thought you could just do it as many times as you want.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker D:I thought it was free range.
Speaker D:I have a level 5 cantrip.
Speaker B:I thought I had an epically large mana pool and nobody was going to say anything about it.
Speaker B:I don't know, like lightning bolt.
Speaker C:Go Burr.
Speaker B:So I. I figured that out.
Speaker B:I actually did use a lot of lightning spells.
Speaker B:It's crazy that you said that.
Speaker B:Shout out to you.
Speaker C:Wait, so the.
Speaker C:The Paladin, though, is it still Damocles just revived or is it.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, he's still.
Speaker B:Well, I. I had him saved on my character.
Speaker B:She is Damocles the Fallen.
Speaker B:But it'd be corny as to introduce yourself like that.
Speaker B:So he was still just Damocles.
Speaker C:Just wear a trench coat and a fedora.
Speaker B:Hello.
Speaker E:But he's not the Damocletus that we know.
Speaker B:No, I had this, like, it was like a Jedi style, like hood and cloak type, big ass tower shield.
Speaker B:And I wielded a great sword in one hand because I was a Goliath.
Speaker C:Sick.
Speaker D:Hell.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker D:So would he be a Sith or would he be a Jedi?
Speaker B:He would be a Sith, but like, not like, he'd be more like mall.
Speaker B:He'd be more like a contract.
Speaker B:Like send him out to go do some.
Speaker B:Some murderous type activities.
Speaker D:Okay.
Speaker B:I wouldn't say he's like a. I wouldn't say he's all about the power.
Speaker E:This went to Disneyland, built a saber there and got a black crystal.
Speaker E:And ever since then he's been wanting to be referred to as a Sith Lord.
Speaker B:I would refer to him as a little boy.
Speaker E:I call him Darth Safalis, Darth pp.
Speaker D:So what cracks me up, dude.
Speaker D:Like, I was listening to the, like from the start to, like, when we joined and all that, there's been so many iterations of Damocles.
Speaker D:It's been Monk, Damocles, Damocles the Fallen, and then Damocletus and then just regular Damocles.
Speaker D:It was wild, dude.
Speaker D:It's been a.
Speaker C:Did his personality change when he was revived or.
Speaker B:Yes, it did.
Speaker B:I was very much.
Speaker B:I, I, I tried to play into more of a character than I did initially when I was just learning how to play.
Speaker B:And I do think that that set me up a little bit for when everybody else, cj, Mack and Rudy were introduced to kind of start to do a voice and really lean into what the character is.
Speaker B:And then I spent a lot of time on the mini campaign before that, and I didn't know how to act when they showed up in the main campaign.
Speaker B:And I was supposed to be be dark and brooding again and everything was an adventure and I was giggling.
Speaker B:And Damocles does not giggle.
Speaker B:He's dead.
Speaker B:So
Speaker D:he's dead inside.
Speaker D:He's just the Goliath emo.
Speaker E:It was, it was so hard to go from like, the mini campaign super shenanigans to, yeah, a bit more serious.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:They're like, yeah, we're like, on track.
Speaker D:We're on track.
Speaker D:We gotta do this and this.
Speaker D:I was like, nah, we're gonna around for a bit.
Speaker B:And I was so down to around.
Speaker B:And I think that's why I was murdered.
Speaker D:Then the bad guy points.
Speaker D:The bad guy puns like, come on, man.
Speaker B:We just want to be literally, dude.
Speaker D:What, like, what my favorite thing is because, well, people can't see it on this, but if they actually watch, like, the clips for, like, coffee and D and D, you can actually see, like, your face.
Speaker D:My favorite thing is, because I know you mute yourself, is I like trying
Speaker B:to make my face.
Speaker B:Bro.
Speaker D:Bro, Exactly.
Speaker D:I like making jokes and seeing if I can get break.
Speaker D:That's like my favorite thing to do.
Speaker D:I like, I'm gonna throw as much stupid out there and see if I can make him break while he's talking.
Speaker D:I think I've only done it like twice, dude.
Speaker D:I think I've only done it like twice where you've, like, you're about to talk, you unmute to say something, and then you start cracking up.
Speaker B:You have got me a couple of times.
Speaker D:I like throwing the randomest out there.
Speaker D:My favorite thing is giving Anthony a gun.
Speaker D:And I feel like that Pissed everybody off.
Speaker D:I was like, my boy's gonna know.
Speaker D:Self defense.
Speaker D:No.
Speaker B:That was epic, dude.
Speaker B:That should have been allowed.
Speaker D:Dude, what is it?
Speaker D:When we had a.
Speaker D:We had a.
Speaker E:Burn down our house with a Gatling gun.
Speaker D:Yeah, dude.
Speaker D:We had to burn down the house.
Speaker D:And I had him use the railgun.
Speaker D:I put his little hands on the railgun, pull the trigger.
Speaker D:I. I was like, that's deniability, baby.
Speaker D:I. I didn't burn the house down.
Speaker D:The turtle did.
Speaker E:I wish we could have explored a little more of our house.
Speaker B:Me too.
Speaker B:I was totally down for that.
Speaker B:But then I punched myself in the face.
Speaker B:So I thought there was gonna be
Speaker E:an epic treasure downstairs.
Speaker D:Yeah, dude.
Speaker D:Since we're, like, towards the end of, like, the podcast coming up, if we don't die, we have to make the.
Speaker D:We have to rebuild the house with.
Speaker D:Was it the Damocles Lounge?
Speaker D:Yeah, we're turning the house into a house.
Speaker D:And the secret high rollers basement.
Speaker B:The Damocles Lounge.
Speaker D:Dude, I deadass grabbed your sword exactly for that.
Speaker D:I was like, we're gonna make it the Damnocles Lounge.
Speaker D:It's what he would have wanted.
Speaker E:The mantle above the walkway in.
Speaker B:His sword is badass, by the way.
Speaker D:I'm like, his ghost told me he wanted me to dedicate this and take his sword, which is hilarious, because I was, like, an emotional moment where just our final goodbyes and shit.
Speaker D:And then I was like, he wants me to take the sword and put in a strip club for him.
Speaker B:Nice.
Speaker E:It was sad.
Speaker D:It's sad.
Speaker D:We got bounced back with shenanigans.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And I did.
Speaker B:That's why I made my character so silly.
Speaker C:Did you like playing the Monk or the Paladin better?
Speaker B:I liked the Paladin a lot better.
Speaker E:I was actually gonna.
Speaker E:Gonna ask you too.
Speaker E:What made you go with Beard?
Speaker D:Oh, Beard.
Speaker B:Well, his name is Pigeon Burdington.
Speaker D:Dude, we're never gonna remember that.
Speaker B:Pigeon.
Speaker B:Pigeon Burdington.
Speaker E:It wasn't at first, but that's because he up.
Speaker B:I up.
Speaker B:I. I told.
Speaker B:I actually, I said pigeon bird person, because that's what it was originally.
Speaker B:And I was like, oh, but Burdington, that's nice.
Speaker B:And then.
Speaker B:And then I think I was late to the session or something, and I didn't have time to get in the moment, and I everything up.
Speaker D:You didn't have time to do your stretches.
Speaker B:I everything up.
Speaker B:But yeah, his name is Pigeon Burdington, but, you know, my close friends call me Bird.
Speaker D:Dude, I felt bad for, like, the first couple of sessions.
Speaker D:I. I was like, oh, everybody's bullying Bird.
Speaker D:I have to bully him too.
Speaker D:I was like, I feel bad.
Speaker E:I was the only nice one.
Speaker D:I was like, I don't want to bully Bird.
Speaker D:I was like, I want to be friends with Bird.
Speaker D:And you're like, I'm friends with everybody.
Speaker B:He's like, he's my best friend, baby bro.
Speaker D:I was like.
Speaker D:I was like, God damn, he's so infectious.
Speaker D:I gotta.
Speaker D:I gotta.
Speaker D:I gotta make sure he doesn't die on us.
Speaker B:Well, he's a.
Speaker B:He's a bard cleric, so he is very much just like.
Speaker D:It was a cleric.
Speaker D:I was trying to get old.
Speaker E:Blarick.
Speaker B:Yeah, I remember.
Speaker D:Was it one of the sessions where I. I don't know what happened here.
Speaker D:She, like, reset.
Speaker D:So you're like, all I have is healing spells, guys.
Speaker D:I think we're like, combat.
Speaker B:Because it's.
Speaker B:Because I was.
Speaker B:I. I think I was a sorcerer.
Speaker B:The.
Speaker B:The first episode I played him with, and then I got really hammered.
Speaker B:The next session,
Speaker D:you're like, I'm gonna be honest.
Speaker D:I was playing with Damocles, old sheep for to have that session.
Speaker B:No, I. I never did that.
Speaker B:That would be hilarious.
Speaker B:But no, I changed it to a cleric because I. I wasn't able to.
Speaker B:I just wasn't able to do enough damage, period.
Speaker B:Really?
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:I wasn't strong enough.
Speaker B:And so I went with cleric to do some more healing stuff.
Speaker B:I wanted to be more support oriented, and I forgot that I did that.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:And I said, oh, why does the cleric know.
Speaker C:Flurry of blows.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Type.
Speaker D:When did the bird learn how to use a gun?
Speaker D:Dude, I'm gonna give you a gun
Speaker B:before the end of the next gunslinger ability.
Speaker B:I can use a gun, dude.
Speaker D:I'm going to give you.
Speaker D:Just remind me before the start of next session, I'm going to give you a handgun.
Speaker B:There was an iteration of birds that I built that new Eldritch Blast, but it was just gonna be a gun, dude.
Speaker D:I did that with one of my characters.
Speaker D:That character Julian, the one we did that Devil's Roulette, the one I had used for that originally.
Speaker D:I had him in another campaign and I had him as a warlock and.
Speaker D:Well, yeah, well, I think warlock's the only thing gets Eldritch blast.
Speaker D:And then DMs.
Speaker D:Like, she was, like, really cool with, like, letting us get away with, like, some stupid.
Speaker D:I was like, can I make a gun that I load up spells into the gun and it's my spell focus and I sh.
Speaker D:Of the gun, like, it's just for flavor.
Speaker D:She's like, yeah, go for it.
Speaker D:So she let me make a crazy.
Speaker D:Dude.
Speaker D:She would let me make a rifle that gave me, I think it was like 250ft of range.
Speaker D:And then I can break it down into two pistols.
Speaker D:That was sick.
Speaker B:Like that one gun from Advanced Warfare, bro.
Speaker E:I had an immovable rod sword so I could stab someone with it.
Speaker E:Activate the immovable rod and they ain't going anywhere.
Speaker B:Oh, wow.
Speaker D:Yeah, dude.
Speaker D:I'm gonna have to reskin that for something.
Speaker D:Just a movable rod sword.
Speaker E:Yeah, dude.
Speaker D:I like IDM for my.
Speaker D:For my lady and her friends.
Speaker D:Like, every once in a while, I'm gonna use that to pin one of them down
Speaker E:for a coin.
Speaker D:Hell yeah, brother.
Speaker D:I'm gonna just be like.
Speaker D:They're like whoever the strongest is or has the most healing.
Speaker D:I'm gonna separate them from the group and I'm gonna pin him against a tree with a movable rod sword.
Speaker D:Okay.
Speaker D:You sit there.
Speaker B:I'm gonna send you my.
Speaker B:My bard warlock character.
Speaker B:She for Bird, and I want you to.
Speaker B:Cause hell with it, brother.
Speaker D:I will add him to the next session.
Speaker D:Like, is this a talking bird in the.
Speaker D:Because I'm having him go into like a combination of like, what would be like the Underworld.
Speaker D:Like, mix.
Speaker D:Like it's combining with the Feywild.
Speaker D:I can see birds just chilling there.
Speaker D:I'm gonna have you just.
Speaker D:I'm gonna have you rob them.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:He's got a gun.
Speaker B:He has a fireball wand.
Speaker D:Dude, we gave him a fireball one.
Speaker D:I forgot about that.
Speaker B:I used all seven charges in 1 9th level fireball.
Speaker D:Dude, I saw in the.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:Spoilers for the upcoming episodes.
Speaker D:Well, when this comes out, the episode
Speaker C:should already be out.
Speaker B:It should be out.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker D:We gave Bird a fireball one and he lit somebody's ass up with it.
Speaker D:I was like, just everybody.
Speaker D:They double down on that.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I have a really quick question.
Speaker D:Yes?
Speaker B:Is this an audio only interview or do you have hidden cameras rolling in here somewhere?
Speaker D:Just look under the table.
Speaker D:Jesus.
Speaker E:We do have some hidden.
Speaker E:But we're equal opportunity employers.
Speaker B:Don't tell the guards.
Speaker D:Just the lighter thing.
Speaker D:That's gonna be great.
Speaker E:The ones around here are on our payroll.
Speaker E:Just don't tell Dante.
Speaker D:That's how we keep him out of trouble.
Speaker D:We give him the illusion of freedom.
Speaker C:Don't worry.
Speaker B:Very interesting.
Speaker E:Oh, you're going to top our pay.
Speaker E:Don't worry about that, sweetheart.
Speaker D:Who's getting top dibs?
Speaker D:Oh, Christ.
Speaker E:Dude.
Speaker E:That's from Bobo, the guard.
Speaker E:So best of luck to you.
Speaker D:Not Big Bobo,
Speaker B:I take it.
Speaker B:He's a large gentleman.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker E:Well endowed, anyway.
Speaker B:How do you know that?
Speaker C:So this is your first campaign.
Speaker C:What got you into dnd?
Speaker E:Dante told me.
Speaker B:I mean, coffee and D. D is what got me into dnd.
Speaker B:My.
Speaker B:My first ever time playing was.
Speaker B:Was a recorded session.
Speaker B:I think it's our third episode out on the podcast is my first ever time playing D&DND.
Speaker D:Dude, I think I started.
Speaker D:I started listening to the podcast after we had done our first episode of Coffee Table Talk.
Speaker D:So I was like, let me go back and listen to.
Speaker D:It's like I want to hear everybody.
Speaker D:And then like, I listen to first episode, like, where the.
Speaker D:Is toast?
Speaker B:Yeah, I don't think I miss any of this.
Speaker B:I think I'm on the third one.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:I was like, is this gaslighting me?
Speaker D:Does he not actually play dnd?
Speaker B:I've never been in the podcast.
Speaker B:I've just been telling everybody that I am.
Speaker B:It's actually just a psyop to make everybody else want to play DND Stolen Valor.
Speaker B:I'm a real life bard.
Speaker D:They have them just for promotion, like the hot girls in Miami at the clubs.
Speaker B:I've just got that charisma to me that makes you want to join, but
Speaker E:you can't touch them.
Speaker B:Hot girls in the Marine Corps ads.
Speaker D:Dude, when we.
Speaker B:Those girls didn't enlist.
Speaker D:When.
Speaker D:Next time we have you on the podcast, your little title thing under Toast has to be resident hot girl.
Speaker B:So less if I could change it right now, I would.
Speaker D:Hot milks in your area.
Speaker B:I'll be a hot milk for you if you need me to.
Speaker D:Dude, MILF is just a state of mind type.
Speaker B:Check me out.
Speaker B:I'll turn into a mill for right now.
Speaker B:Do you know what this is?
Speaker B:No.
Speaker B:It's better than a balaclava.
Speaker D:Is it a shiesty?
Speaker B:This is a do rag.
Speaker B:Gentlemen.
Speaker D:He's got the silky,
Speaker B:I've got the durag.
Speaker B:Gentlemen.
Speaker B:My dad got me this for Christmas.
Speaker B:It was $5 at Walmart.
Speaker B:He said.
Speaker B:He was like, I. I saw it and immediately thought of you.
Speaker B:I was like, why did durag make you think of me?
Speaker D:He's like, cause I know you would wear it.
Speaker B:And I did, bro.
Speaker B:I wore it all Christmas Day.
Speaker B:I've worn it once or twice after that.
Speaker B:I tried to sleep in it once.
Speaker B:That was a bad idea.
Speaker B:I was so hot.
Speaker E:Did you wake up almost strangled or what?
Speaker B:No, I woke up sweaty as, dude.
Speaker D:Legitimately, man.
Speaker D:I have a. I don't have A do rag.
Speaker D:But I have the bonnets because I started growing my hair.
Speaker D:Yeah, dude, I. I grew my hair out so I can braid it specifically so I can get it braided.
Speaker B:It would have been good then, but.
Speaker E:All right.
Speaker B:All right, y'.
Speaker C:All.
Speaker C:Wave check.
Speaker C:Let's see it.
Speaker C:Oh.
Speaker C:Oh, he's doing it.
Speaker B:My hair straight As.
Speaker B:I don't know what you thought.
Speaker B:I'm a white guy, dude.
Speaker E:If my.
Speaker E:If I had hair.
Speaker E:It's curly.
Speaker E:These have seen the pictures.
Speaker B:It'd be wavy as I know it would be.
Speaker D:What is it?
Speaker D:When me and CJ first started working together, because I. I mean, he's been bald since I've known him, but he's like.
Speaker D:He's like, yeah, dude.
Speaker D:My hair is, like, curly, and I think I got him, dude.
Speaker D:No, man.
Speaker D:He had, like, the longest beautiful Viking hair I've ever seen.
Speaker B:All babies are born right now.
Speaker E:No, all my kids were actually born with full heads of hair.
Speaker B:I thought they barely had bones.
Speaker D:Dude.
Speaker D:I came out with that, bro.
Speaker D:I came out the full set of hair and some hairy ass shoulders.
Speaker D:I look like a Mon Chi, dude.
Speaker B:What the is a Mon Chi?
Speaker B:What does that mean?
Speaker D:Up, brother.
Speaker D:Look it up real quick.
Speaker B:How do you spell that?
Speaker D:No clue.
Speaker D:Just sound it up.
Speaker B:I'll do one of these.
Speaker B:I'll Google.
Speaker B:I'll Google search that.
Speaker D:Context clues, brother.
Speaker E:If it pulls up anything awkward, I apologize.
Speaker C:Google save search off
Speaker D:Munchichi Hentai.
Speaker D:Are you watching a video?
Speaker B:No, it's the Google.
Speaker B:It's the AI overview.
Speaker B:Are you talking about this thing?
Speaker D:Yeah, bro.
Speaker D:That's exactly what I look like.
Speaker B:That's crazy.
Speaker D:I'll find a baby.
Speaker D:I don't know.
Speaker B:Google just starts talking to me sometimes.
Speaker B:I think it's because.
Speaker B:I think it's because I was talking to it.
Speaker B:Oh, goog.
Speaker B:I don't know, though.
Speaker E:I'm gonna find a picture.
Speaker C:Yeah, bro.
Speaker D:That's exactly what I look like as a baby.
Speaker B:That's crazy.
Speaker D:There's a little Mexican monchichi.
Speaker C:Shave it.
Speaker D:Shave it.
Speaker C:Shave your newborn.
Speaker B:Shave the monchichi.
Speaker B:Oh, wait.
Speaker D:The baby came out hairy, so we took it to get waxed.
Speaker C:Sir, what are you doing?
Speaker C:I'm sorry.
Speaker C:Toast said this is supposed to be bald.
Speaker D:You guys have baby Nair?
Speaker E:No hair,
Speaker C:Junior.
Speaker B:No, you just.
Speaker B:Just take a straight razor to the baby's skull.
Speaker B:It'll be all right.
Speaker B:Oh, gentle like.
Speaker B:Gentle like.
Speaker B:Make sure there's ample shaving cream.
Speaker D:Is he trying to Sweeney Todd his baby?
Speaker C:Oh, God.
Speaker E:That's what it sounds like, dude.
Speaker B:I'm no, I'm gonna him up for free.
Speaker B:Check me out.
Speaker B:You know what I'm saying?
Speaker B:Check out.
Speaker B:Check out this free haircut.
Speaker D:Give him a boozy fade.
Speaker B:Hit him with the slit in the eyebrows.
Speaker D:Damn it.
Speaker B:And then.
Speaker B:And then we'll take him to get his first tattoo.
Speaker B:Baby's first tattoo.
Speaker C:Oh, my God.
Speaker B:He's seven minutes old.
Speaker E:Or.
Speaker E:Why come you have no tattoo?
Speaker B:I have one tattoo that's on my shoulder.
Speaker C:It's a monchichi.
Speaker B:It is.
Speaker B:It's a mon chichi.
Speaker B:It's a mon with a big anime wiener.
Speaker E:Hell, yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker E:I just started my legs.
Speaker B:Yeah, dude, I'm gonna.
Speaker D:I want to.
Speaker D:I'm either.
Speaker B:Why would you say that?
Speaker D:I know, dude.
Speaker D:Like, tattoo wise, I want to finish up my sleeve on my arm and then maybe move down to my legs.
Speaker D:They convinced me not get my stomach tattooed.
Speaker D:I thought it'd be sick as hell.
Speaker C:I want to get word truffle shuffle.
Speaker D:I want to get Copacabana.
Speaker D:Like, what's your name?
Speaker D:You know, my name is.
Speaker D:My name was Lola.
Speaker D:I was a dancer.
Speaker D:What's a dancer?
Speaker D:Always a dancer.
Speaker D:I got these long dancers.
Speaker C:Legs, Prud.
Speaker C:Always down at the Pinky Club.
Speaker D:You shut your mouth about that.
Speaker D:You don't know nothing.
Speaker B:You know about the Pink Horsey Club, boy.
Speaker C:Pink Horsey.
Speaker D:It's terrible.
Speaker B:Club.
Speaker D:Pink Horsey Club.
Speaker D:That on a T shirt.
Speaker E:Oh, no.
Speaker E:Look it up.
Speaker D:I feel like we've derailed this very.
Speaker D:There's, like, nothing dnd in this, so let's move on.
Speaker D:All right, man.
Speaker E:There was quite a bit of D and D up front.
Speaker D:Up front.
Speaker D:Just a little bit up top.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:The first, like, seven and a half to 12 minutes or probably DND related.
Speaker D:I like how we did a little bit past.
Speaker D:We're like, yeah, welcome to our DND.
Speaker D:And then, like, 90% of it was not as.
Speaker D:You trying to cut my DND for.
Speaker C:Huh?
Speaker B:Having a good time.
Speaker C:You trying to shave my.
Speaker D:Don't you shave my mon chi chi.
Speaker B:I'll show you a shave mon chi chi boy.
Speaker D:I don't like.
Speaker E:I don't.
Speaker E:I don't want to see a regular chichi or mine.
Speaker D:I don't want to see what a bald manchichi looks like.
Speaker D:Now.
Speaker B:I'll show you, too.
Speaker B:I'll show it to you.
Speaker B:Come on back behind this production curtain over here.
Speaker D:We're gonna need you.
Speaker D:Can I get HR here
Speaker B:for you?
Speaker D:I don't work here.
Speaker C:All right.
Speaker D:Call the cops.
Speaker D:Oh, man.
Speaker D:All right.
Speaker B:So you gotta do for them either do I have a D4.
Speaker D:Yeah, man, go ahead and roll me a D4 real quick.
Speaker B:Big Daddy Cam bought me a set of dice.
Speaker B:I just have to figure out which one's the D4.
Speaker B:Is it a triangle?
Speaker B:Yeah, it is.
Speaker B:Oh, it's the hardest one to get out of the.
Speaker B:You piece of.
Speaker D:All right, so for the word.
Speaker B:I'll figure it out.
Speaker B:You explain it on the way.
Speaker D:All right, I'll start explaining.
Speaker D:So for the new people listening, this is a part of the.
Speaker D:Where we have our guests play against our host in a one on one game.
Speaker D:But we've been doing, like, one on one on one because Dante.
Speaker D:We got Dante involved in this as well.
Speaker B:I can't fight two people at one time.
Speaker B:That's cheating.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker D:We're being flagged down by a producer.
Speaker B:I thought this was a fist fight.
Speaker A:Who then who's that?
Speaker B:What's happening?
Speaker E:Dante?
Speaker E:Why the Are you wearing a robe?
Speaker C:A simple fundraiser just got shut down for inappropriate donation.
Speaker D:What the.
Speaker D:Does that even mean the coins were holy?
Speaker C:The way they were handed over was not.
Speaker E:And you.
Speaker C:I gave him the hot and a little from the hips.
Speaker D:Well, anyways, back to our regularly scheduled program.
Speaker D:Go ahead and roll that D4 for us.
Speaker E:That guy's got issues.
Speaker B:What the hell is going on here?
Speaker E:Yeah, Dante likes to make surprise appearances.
Speaker B:I would assume whatever side is facing upwards is what I'm supposed to do, so I got a two.
Speaker D:All right, A two is going to get you.
Speaker D:I cast identify.
Speaker D:This is the game where I poorly describe a spell to you guys, and you have to try to figure out what it is.
Speaker B:Oh, no.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I'm going to lose, dude.
Speaker B:All right, so you see, luck die on that.
Speaker D:You cannot.
Speaker D:You want to find a friend?
Speaker B:Have any friends?
Speaker B:They're all in here.
Speaker C:I'll be a friend.
Speaker D:I'll be.
Speaker D:You don't want to be his friend?
Speaker B:I've been his friend before.
Speaker D:Ain't no free friendship with this guy.
Speaker B:I know.
Speaker E:Oh, no.
Speaker D:Serious Airplane.
Speaker D:They're playing Sexual healing, please.
Speaker D:All right, do you see the little hand at the bottom of the screen?
Speaker B:Oh, balls.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Wait, does this.
Speaker D:Okay, go ahead and give it.
Speaker B:To do this, I have to use the trackpad chat.
Speaker B:We're cooked.
Speaker B:Oh, my God.
Speaker B:My taskbar won't go away.
Speaker E:He has.
Speaker B:I know where it is.
Speaker B:I know how to use it.
Speaker B:I used it last time.
Speaker B:All right, the taskbar won't go away.
Speaker B:Okay, the taskbar went away.
Speaker B:Here it is.
Speaker D:Awesome.
Speaker D:All right, so I'm gonna start reading it.
Speaker D:Wait till I finish reading the whole thing.
Speaker D:And then you guys can try to guess what it is.
Speaker D:All right?
Speaker E:The whole thing and nothing but the thing, so help him, Bob.
Speaker B:Hi, Bob.
Speaker D:Don't you worry about Bob.
Speaker D:All right, Big bad Bob.
Speaker D:Are you guys ready?
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker E:Yes.
Speaker D:All right.
Speaker D:So the ground decides it's hard enough.
Speaker D:And of your.
Speaker D:Sorry, let me try that again.
Speaker D:The ground decides it's had enough of your nonsense and becomes Legos tm.
Speaker D:Walking hurts, running hurts more, and standing still is a mistake.
Speaker D:You'll think about the rest of your movement speed.
Speaker D:Nature says slow down, also bleed a little.
Speaker E:Yeah, I got no fucking clue on that one.
Speaker D:You want me to read it again?
Speaker C:Yeah, please.
Speaker B:Can you use it in a sentence?
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker D:The sentence is, the ground decides it's hard.
Speaker D:It's had enough of your nonsense and becomes Legos trademark.
Speaker D:Walking hurts, running hurts more.
Speaker D:And standing still is a mistake you'll think about for the rest of your movement speed.
Speaker D:Nature says slow down, also bleed.
Speaker C:All right, Dante, isn't there a spell literally just called slow?
Speaker D:There is a spell called slow, but this ain't it.
Speaker C:God damn.
Speaker D:This ain't that playboy.
Speaker E:No, no.
Speaker D:I'm gonna get a little thinking music while you.
Speaker E:It's something that alters the terrain.
Speaker E:Yes, it is, but I don't remember the name of the spell, and that's what's driving me crazy, because I know exactly.
Speaker D:You don't know anything.
Speaker D:Y' all up.
Speaker D:You gave me reverb.
Speaker E:Magical.
Speaker D:You guys want to take some guesses?
Speaker B:I'll take a guess.
Speaker D:All right.
Speaker D:What you got?
Speaker D:I don't know.
Speaker B:Is it something like a thorny terrain?
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker B:I. I don't know, actually.
Speaker D:Kind of close.
Speaker D:Kind of?
Speaker B:Is it a spiky terrain?
Speaker B:I didn't raise my hand.
Speaker E:You're.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker D:Okay, you're getting closer.
Speaker D:What you got, Toast?
Speaker B:That was it.
Speaker B:I just raised my hand for it.
Speaker D:Okay, okay, cj.
Speaker E:Dude, I.
Speaker D:All right, so you guys want to move on from this one?
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah, I'm not gonna get it.
Speaker D:All right.
Speaker D:The spell was spike growth.
Speaker D:Oh, you were right on it, dude.
Speaker B:I was there.
Speaker E:I just knew it altered the terrain.
Speaker D:And that was the easy one.
Speaker B:That's not good.
Speaker B:This is bad.
Speaker D:All right, second one.
Speaker D:Ready?
Speaker E:No.
Speaker D:You open a hole in reality, and it turns out reality's fridge was empty and angry.
Speaker D:Everything inside gets cold, scared blind, and lightly slapped by a space noodle no one can see.
Speaker D:Everyone regrets standing there.
Speaker D:And the darkness definitely screams.
Speaker C:I beg your finest pardon.
Speaker D:Mm.
Speaker D:Beg all you want.
Speaker E:Read that.
Speaker D:Oh, no.
Speaker D:Okay.
Speaker D:You open a hole in reality, and it turns out reality's fridge was empty and angry.
Speaker D:Everything inside gets cold, scared blind, and lightly slapped by space noodles.
Speaker D:No one can see everyone regrets standing there.
Speaker D:And the darkness definitely screams toast.
Speaker B:Is it called Dimensional Freeze?
Speaker D:It is not called Dimensional Freeze.
Speaker D:Is that actually a spell?
Speaker D:Are you just throwing words together?
Speaker E:There's like, dimensional door.
Speaker D:Is that your guess?
Speaker E:It's something similar, but I can't recall the name of it.
Speaker D:Sorta.
Speaker D:It's like one of those spells that's like, oh, this is.
Speaker D:This guy's.
Speaker D:Something like Otto's Irresistible Dance.
Speaker D:I was gonna say Auto Munich Dance.
Speaker D:I was like, that's not a word.
Speaker E:Is it Otto's Immunicable Dance?
Speaker D:Otto's Erotic Dance?
Speaker D:Something like that.
Speaker D:So it's like something of something.
Speaker E:Otto of Erotic's Dance.
Speaker D:I'm gonna call it.
Speaker D:I don't think you guys got this one either.
Speaker D:No, it's Hunger of Hadar.
Speaker B:What the does that even mean?
Speaker E:That one I have not heard of.
Speaker D:Okay, we got one more.
Speaker D:I don't know what to do if nobody gets it.
Speaker D:I just put in the roll.
Speaker B:We roll a new dice and play a different game.
Speaker D:I'm gonna just move on.
Speaker D:I'm gonna put in the losses.
Speaker D:I think I've ever had a clean sweep where nobody's gotten anything.
Speaker C:I feel like Toast would slap at 30 second backstory.
Speaker D:He might too, but we ain't gonna fucking find out.
Speaker D:All right, final one.
Speaker E:That's my favorite game.
Speaker D:You fill the battlefield with fantasy.
Speaker D:Great.
Speaker D:Duct tape.
Speaker D:Everyone is stuck, everything is sticky.
Speaker D:And fire becomes a very bad idea.
Speaker D:It's crowd control, mild arson, encouragement, and an OSHA violation all rolled into one.
Speaker C:I cast gasoline.
Speaker E:Huh?
Speaker D:Do you want it one more time?
Speaker E:Doesn't matter, baby.
Speaker E:One more time.
Speaker D:You fill the battlefield with fantasy grade duct tape.
Speaker D:Everyone is stuck, everything is sticky.
Speaker D:And fire becomes a very bad idea.
Speaker D:Control, mild arson, encouragement, and an OSHA violation all rolled into one.
Speaker E:Is it web?
Speaker D:God damn it, it is web.
Speaker D:But you didn't win.
Speaker B:Again.
Speaker C:Why is it.
Speaker C:Why is fire a bad idea with web?
Speaker D:It's flammable, dude.
Speaker B:I'm sorry, cj.
Speaker B:Is it web?
Speaker D:It is web.
Speaker D:Good job, Toast.
Speaker B:I'm sorry, cj.
Speaker D:Thank you for ringing in.
Speaker D:And with the steel that is one loss added to cj.
Speaker B:Oh, so dirty.
Speaker B:I feel so bad about that one.
Speaker D:I literally told you.
Speaker D:I was like, bro.
Speaker D:I literally told you.
Speaker D:I was like, good job.
Speaker D:But you didn't ring in, and you just stared at the your screen for like, two seconds.
Speaker D:I was like, are you gonna ring in or not?
Speaker C:The fluoride stare.
Speaker E:Well, because I figured it was gonna be one of those where if I rang in right away after is gonna be like, nope, that doesn't count.
Speaker D:No, if you would have rang in, you would have gotten the point.
Speaker D:All right, so that.
Speaker D:I'm sorry, man.
Speaker D:That feels cheap.
Speaker D:But that's another.
Speaker B:Feels so bad.
Speaker C:It's like Jeopardy.
Speaker C:You gotta say what is before, bro.
Speaker D:That literally felt like.
Speaker D:Like in WWE when they cash in the money in the bank.
Speaker D:He just took your title, brother.
Speaker D:All right, so, cj, that brings you to four wins and nine losses for the season.
Speaker D:Oh, my God, bro, there's one episode left.
Speaker D:I don't think you're catching up.
Speaker D:You want to do double or nothing?
Speaker C:I mean, this last episode is gonna have, like, quintuple points.
Speaker C:It always works out that way.
Speaker D:We always do that.
Speaker D:No, that.
Speaker D:I want sashimi now.
Speaker D:I had a buy him for season two.
Speaker D:I think season one, we didn't do anything because we ended in a draw.
Speaker E:No seasoning.
Speaker D:So, yeah, season two, he.
Speaker D:I think he.
Speaker D:He won by like three points or some.
Speaker D:And then he's like, yeah, sashimi.
Speaker D:I was like, you face.
Speaker D:I forgot about that.
Speaker D:All right, so it looks like you're gonna be buying me sashimi now.
Speaker D:All right, so this.
Speaker D:This brings us to our final segment.
Speaker D:One rule to rule them all.
Speaker D:So basically, you tell us 20 has come in handy, and then that one has just thrown a wrench in your plans.
Speaker D:I.
Speaker B:That's a tough one.
Speaker B:You gotta.
Speaker B:I gotta, like, think back.
Speaker B:I haven't rolled like that in a long time.
Speaker B:Actually, like, exponentially well or exponentially poorly.
Speaker B:It's always a midass roll that doesn't do anything.
Speaker E:Sometimes it happens.
Speaker B:One time, okay, we were looking for an artifact in a dungeon.
Speaker B:I can't remember exactly what it was, but it was gonna help us find the books.
Speaker B:I know that.
Speaker B:And I went to kick a door down.
Speaker B:Yeah, pretty much.
Speaker B:But, like, with.
Speaker D:With.
Speaker B:With gods, like, really evil ones.
Speaker B:And if you read.
Speaker B:If you.
Speaker B:If you look at the bad images, bad things happen.
Speaker B:Basically.
Speaker D:Yeah, I was going to say the mon.
Speaker B:Yeah, like a.
Speaker B:That affects all of the world's manchi Chis.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:That's why we were trying to stop them.
Speaker B:So look for this artifact.
Speaker B:And I'm going to kick down the door.
Speaker B:And I rolled for strength.
Speaker B:Now I have a really big strength stat as Damocles.
Speaker B:He's a.
Speaker B:He's Goliath monk at this point.
Speaker B:And I rolled a one.
Speaker B:A modifier.
Speaker B:I rolled that.
Speaker B:Not one.
Speaker B:I broke my leg.
Speaker B:Oh, I broke my leg.
Speaker C:The was a door.
Speaker B:That was hilarious.
Speaker B:Wood.
Speaker B:It was a regular wood door.
Speaker B:It was just a really.
Speaker B:It was a really bad angle.
Speaker E:He stubbed his toes so hard, broke
Speaker B:the tibia and the fibia.
Speaker C:So how about the angle the dangle, brother?
Speaker B:The dangle was angled for show.
Speaker B:It's a good thing Stygius mended my bones back together.
Speaker D:But were the phalanges all right?
Speaker B:I don't think I broke my phalanges.
Speaker B:I think it was just a bilingual fracture between the tibia.
Speaker E:Did your anus stay intact?
Speaker B:I didn't elbow the door.
Speaker B:So, yes.
Speaker C:She had a little bit of a pimpling for a while.
Speaker D:A little bit.
Speaker B:A little bit.
Speaker E:Ah, yes.
Speaker E:Yield the pimple.
Speaker B:That's crazy.
Speaker B:And that 20.
Speaker B:I was aura farming as one does.
Speaker B:I. I wanted to, like.
Speaker B:I wanted to missy step to the bad guy.
Speaker B:And I wanted to use.
Speaker B:It's a touch spell that does necrotic damage.
Speaker B:Oh, my God.
Speaker B:I'm blinking.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:I'm pretty sure it has touch in the name or hands or something like that.
Speaker B:Oh, no.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker B:But I touched him to do bad things and hurt him really bad.
Speaker D:Yo, rephrase that, because that came out.
Speaker C:No.
Speaker B:Did he?
Speaker B:No, Diddy.
Speaker E:It was without consent.
Speaker B:Well, I guess technically no Cosby.
Speaker D:We got him.
Speaker B:Anyway.
Speaker B:Anyway.
Speaker B:No comment.
Speaker E:This toast just got soggy.
Speaker B:So I touched him on the neck.
Speaker B:I, like, grabbed him by his neck.
Speaker D:This story isn't getting better, bro.
Speaker B:And I used the.
Speaker B:I'm trying to remember what spell it is, dude, And I just can't for the life of me, but I essentially wanted to, like.
Speaker E:Oh, is it inflict wounds?
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Oh, my God, yes.
Speaker B:It is literally just inflict winds, which
Speaker D:has that, bro, where the.
Speaker D:Is touch anywhere in that name?
Speaker B:Because you have to.
Speaker B:Well, no, I don't.
Speaker B:It's not in the name.
Speaker E:The range is touch.
Speaker B:You just touch them.
Speaker B:And I wanted to explode his melon in this.
Speaker B:In this dark, necrotic purple energy and melancholy.
Speaker B:The.
Speaker B:The only.
Speaker B:The one and only time that Cam said, if you roll it now 20, I'll let that happen.
Speaker B:I rolled a nat 20, and I exploded that guy's head.
Speaker B:And it was the single greatest moment in the campaign for me personally.
Speaker C:It was a hell yeah experience.
Speaker B:I loved every minute of it.
Speaker D:I'd do it again.
Speaker D:I would recommend.
Speaker B:I would.
Speaker D:Man, that's sick.
Speaker D:I feel like everybody Gets a little bit like those camp.
Speaker D:My thing was the.
Speaker D:What was it?
Speaker D:The summon shadow spawn where I killed that.
Speaker D:That elf dude in the bar.
Speaker D:I was like, I wasn't trying to kill him.
Speaker D:I was like, my bad.
Speaker D:I was trying to knock him out.
Speaker D:Like, no, he's dead.
Speaker D:I was like, oh, my God.
Speaker D:And then I think I went in to try to talk to him.
Speaker D:He's like, yeah, no, he's dead.
Speaker B:Yeah, he's dead.
Speaker D:I was like, ah, my bad, My bad, guys.
Speaker D:I didn't mean to murder him.
Speaker B:That was.
Speaker B:That was hilarious.
Speaker D:I mean.
Speaker E:I mean, to murder my people.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Almost immediately someone was going to try to eat him.
Speaker C:Dibs.
Speaker D:Who the was gonna try to eat him?
Speaker B:I don't.
Speaker B:I don't know, but I vaguely remember somebody mentioning they wanted to eat him.
Speaker D:I don't remember that.
Speaker D:I think.
Speaker D:I think C.J.
Speaker D:went to go, like, try to like hide the body.
Speaker D:But then he's like he himself.
Speaker D:You're covered in now and you're like, I'm a smeared on his face.
Speaker D:That did not play well.
Speaker D:So are you telling me that murder in a tavern is not cool now?
Speaker B:Settle civil disputes in the middle of the tavern.
Speaker D:Back in my day.
Speaker D:Back in my day, you murder a man and just go home.
Speaker B:Back in my day, you murder a man and eat his shitty pants for breakfast.
Speaker D:He's still sitting in his dirty pee pants.
Speaker B:Grandpa never did change my dirty pee pants.
Speaker D:All right, man.
Speaker D:Well, that's pretty much all the time we have for this episode.
Speaker D:I want to say a big thank you to toast.
Speaker D:Dude, it's always great having you on.
Speaker D:Here we go.
Speaker D:We go nowhere with this episode, but it's always hilarious.
Speaker B:I'm having a good time, love and.
Speaker B:And the support of my peers.
Speaker D:We're here for a good time, not a long time type.
Speaker D:You have anything you want to plug?
Speaker D:I got a glade scented candle in the back.
Speaker D:Got one of those airwings.
Speaker B:Nothing that I can say on stream, so.
Speaker E:Shout out to baking soda.
Speaker B:I love baking soda.
Speaker D:Shout out to Mr. White.
Speaker D:All right, man.
Speaker D:Well, you want to check us out, you can go ahead and check us out on coffee and dnd.
Speaker D:Me, CJ and toast.
Speaker D:If you want to see more of the random crazy that me, C.J.
Speaker D:and Dante do, you guys can go ahead and check out all season one, season two, and most of season three.
Speaker D:Stay tuned.
Speaker D:We have some crazy coming up for season four that we will be releasing later on and you guys get to see some of the nonsense.
Speaker D:We do.
Speaker D:We do, brother.
Speaker D:It's pretty cool.
Speaker D:We want to say thank you to this episode's sponsors.
Speaker D:If you guys want your beard to look like a million plaque, go ahead and check out Beard Sorcery.
Speaker D:If you want to pick up some of the best minis in the game right now, check out Fireball figurines.
Speaker D:And if you're wondered if dragon meat is smoky or not, go ahead and check out Mythic Meats.
Speaker D:Cj, take it away.
Speaker E:It's not as smoky as you think.
Speaker E:But with that aside, I want to give a huge thanks to.
Speaker E:Again, Mr. Toast.
Speaker E:We appreciate.
Speaker E:Yeah, I love it.
Speaker E:Oh, you're good, man.
Speaker E:We appreciate you pulling up a chair here, sharing some stories, and bringing your fun to the tavern.
Speaker E:It's.
Speaker E:It's always a pleasure, sir.
Speaker B:I don't mean to break this to you at the very end of the episode or anything, but this chair that you've given me is broken.
Speaker E:Oh, God damn it, Dante.
Speaker D:What did you find yourself lucky.
Speaker D:We used to have the guests sit on milk crates.
Speaker D:We finally got a third chair.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker D:What the.
Speaker C:Why does this guy get a chair?
Speaker D:He is our guest.
Speaker B:You're a weirdo, dude.
Speaker D:You're a weirdo, dude.
Speaker B:You give me the creeps over there.
Speaker E:I mean, you have been kind of staring at him out of the corner of your eye this entire time, licking your lips.
Speaker C:I can't.
Speaker C:I cannot deny that.
Speaker C:It's just, I have a thing for Mills, and, you know, MILF is just
Speaker D:a state of mind.
Speaker D:All right, well, that's crazy.
Speaker D:All right, you wrap this up before we catch a lawsuit, please.
Speaker E:I'm a bad with that.
Speaker E:If you're enjoying these episodes and would like to hear more, again, follow us.
Speaker E:Go in our comments and let us know.
Speaker E:Hey, bring that crazy guy Toast back on for some more chaotic times, because they're always fun.
Speaker E:And again, make sure to follow Toast.
Speaker E:Give him some love, and, you know, maybe he can help fend the dice goblins away.
Speaker E:But until next time, throw quarters at those little.
Speaker B:See, just like.
Speaker B:Just like strippers.
Speaker E:But until next time, may your mug stay full, your toast never burn, and your dice always roll well enough to bring you back here.
Speaker E:Save him.
Speaker A:You can break our dice, but you'll never break the bond.
Speaker A:This is more than a game.
Speaker A:This is the one and all.
Speaker A:Sam.
